I have been on the road almost constantly for the past two weeks. That’s why I’ve been quiet on this blog. The travels were fun—networking on a Penn State tour and three elementary school visits as an author.
But at a school visit on Thursday, I was asked about my writing schedule and when my next book would be done. I realized that I had been so busy with deadlines and commitments over the past months—what with teaching and clinical work and conferences—that I hadn’t worked on my fiction much at all.
So I made a commitment to the students and to myself to set up a schedule that would allow me to get more writing done. I promised myself that I would find a way to stick with it!
This relates to recovery in a number of ways. Some individuals in our program over-schedule themselves to such an extent that they are always running from one commitment to another. Maybe this is a way to stay ahead of difficult emotions. Maybe it’s part of trying to please others—finding it hard to turn down any request. Maybe it is part of perfectionism—the belief they should be able to everything and do it perfectly! Do some of those reflections ring true for you?
I often see women who are not able to focus on their health and on their recovery because they put everything else first. They run themselves ragged trying to get to program and then back to classes. Even when they have a break from school and could focus on recovery—they end up focusing on requests by friends or family—instead of finding a way to say, “I need to focus on my recovery now.”
Sometimes we do have to over-schedule because that’s when the opportunities occur. On the Penn State tour, I met a number of fascinating women who share similar interests. I look forward to working to collaborate with them. The school visits always inspire me and remind me about my young readers. They make me want to go home and put words to paper so that I can have another story to share.
And, yet, in order to do that—to discover the research I want to collaborate on or to work on those stories, I need to carve out time. I need to schedule time at my desk—getting work done. I can’t keep running and running to other commitments and hope that somewhere in that hectic day, vague minutes of writing will somehow get done.
So….
· Consider your days—your commitments. List the activities that you expect to get done. Where does recovery rank on your list? Have you scheduled in enough time to focus on recovery or are you trying to squeeze it in. Put it in your schedule—find time for your meals or stress-reduction exercises. Build in the supports that you need. If other activities are crowding into the space of recovery, postpone some of those activities until later. Keep a list of what you want to be involved in and promise yourself that you can do that—later when you are healthier. Later—when recovery is not the priority.
· If you find yourself over-scheduled, journal about what emotions you might be trying to crowd out. Why do you commit yourself to so many things? What will happen if you say no? Use these sentence stems and try to discover what is hiding beneath your frantic pace.
o If I slow down, I’m afraid I will feel….
o If I slow down, I’m afraid I will remember…
o If I slow down, I’m afraid I will think about….
o If I tell someone “no”, I worry that….
o If I’m not busy, it means….
· Schedule some time to reflect on your recovery and the steps that you’re making. A year-long program that I have been involved in is coming to an end. We were encouraged to celebrate, but also to reflect. What have we learned? What are we taking away with us? What do we need to continue to work on? Try doing the same—look back at your day. Take a few minutes to journal. What worked in recovery today? What would you have liked to have gone better? What would help with those bumpy spots tomorrow? In the morning, take a minute or two to journal. What are your recovery goals for the day? What supports do you need in place to accomplish them? What coping strategies will you need to practice?
· Turning down requests can require saying “no”. That can be hard. Is that part of how you get over-scheduled? One of my friends made a “no” wand so that she could remind herself when she was called about joining another committee, that it was all right to say “no”. She needed to examine her priorities. Then she could examine each request and see if it supported her priorities. Your priority should be recovery—regaining your health. Without that—any other other goals will be impossible to pursue. Make sure that you have allowed yourself time to recover, to reflect, to rejoice and to breathe.
Go, Write On!
Martha Peaslee Levine, MD
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