My husband was in Rocky Horror Show this month. On occasion he has answered the call of the theater, which begs him to come and act. His busy hours at work and home can sometimes cause him not to listen. But he needs to listen, periodically. So as a family we scout for auditions when we think the acting bug should take hold. This year, the part was Dr. Scott in Rocky Horror Show. And that is where the title of this blog comes from—lyrics from Rocky Horror.
Why start off with that? How does that relate to you? Am I suggesting everyone try out for a play? No. Should everyone become Transsexual Transvestites from Outer Space? Absolutely not. So what am I suggesting?
Two things:
1. Everyone needs to find a creative outlet. We all need activities that fuel our passion as we tackle life. For my husband, it’s theater. For me, it’s writing. For my dogs—it’s burying a bone outside. My son gets inspiration from reading, my daughter from spending time with her family. We all gather energy from different sources. I do need my family and I need to read and I need to sit with my thoughts and let obscure connections fly together so I can figure out an obstacle in a book that I’m writing. My husband needs to act to help rejuvenate his energy as he works diligently in both the medical and family spheres. Does the acting make sense? Not logically—the acting just makes his schedule more hectic. But that doesn’t matter. He enjoys acting. It fuels his passions. It makes him happy. That makes him a better doctor, husband and dad.
2. And what of that line—Don’t dream it, be it? Well, it has a place in the play. But it has a place in our lives, too. We do need to dream. We need to believe that anything is possible. But we can’t just dream it; we also have to be it. If I want to be able to call myself a writer, I can’t just dream about the great stories I want to tell. I have to sit down at the computer and write. I have to write some really bad sentences and then revise them and make them better. I have to send my stories off to be published and have them rejected. I have to be able to pick myself up from that hurt and try again. Satisfaction comes initially from the dream and then from the accomplishment.
This applies to recovery.
You need to envision what life with be like without your eating disorder. How can recovery look? What will it mean for you? However once you can see that future, the only way to it—is through doing. You can’t get there only by dreaming. Dream it, so you know where you’re heading, but then be it. The “being it” part can be rocky. Dreaming is easy sometimes—being it means you have to get past the obstacles and keep moving forward. But that is where the satisfaction comes. Yes, my husband could dream about acting, but the energy of the performance came from being in it. So, go on now, Don’t Dream It. Be It.
· What do you dream about? What excites your passion? Sometimes individuals have trouble with this—so watch for ideas. When someone is talking about painting, does that excite you? Go on then, take a class or buy some supplies and try it out on your own. Like gardening? Get out in your garden, but also meet other gardeners at local parks or through volunteer organizations. People often follow their passions not because they will be monetarily rewarded, but because it fuels who they are. It inspires them. What inspires you? Journal about it, so that you can understand.
· What does recovery look like for you? Write about your vision for the future. Describe it in detail. What does recovery mean? What kind of support do you see as a part of your recovery? What do you see yourself doing instead of using eating disorder symptoms? Write down your vision. Now work to craft your recovery. Start putting the pieces in place. And if things tumble down, build them up again with a different foundation. My husband has not gotten roles in every play. Not all of my writing has gotten published. Yet because these are our passions, we keep trying. We both know how important it is to have these venues in our lives. Recovery is even more important. If it takes a number of tries—that’s what it takes. It doesn’t mean that you should stop trying. Anything worthwhile takes effort.
So write your recovery, dream it and now go and be it!
Go and Write On!
Martha Peaslee Levine, M.D.
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