What is the Universe Telling You?

 

This past week, I was scheduled to drive to a writing retreat in Vermont. Unable to hit the road Wednesday night because of the weather, I planned to leave early Thursday. Of course, this same weather meant that my kids had a two-hour delay for school. I realized I wouldn’t be leaving until mid-morning. Then my daughter developed an ear infection with puss draining from her ear. I got her antibiotics and realized I wasn’t leaving until late morning.

Around noon, I finally hit the road. About an hour and half away, I was driving along quite happily, and my car suddenly lost power. Luckily, I was able to get to the side of the road. I tried a few more times to get the car going, but it kept dying. I had to call a tow truck. My car and I were transported to the dealership—right back where I had started from. Luckily, I was able to get a loaner car. So I started off again. It was now four in the afternoon. I called home and my son told me, “The universe is trying to tell you not to go.” I had to wonder if that was true when I passed the exit to my house. But I aimed the car towards Vermont. I drove by the spot where my car had broken down. I had to wonder again—am I supposed to be staying home?

I got to the conference around midnight. I had two and half terrific days of bonding with other authors and receiving great instruction on elements of the writing craft. I made new friends and connected with old ones. I would have missed all of this great creative fuel if I had listened to what my son was calling “the message of the universe” and had stayed home.

So how does this relate to eating disorders and recovery?

Clearly when individuals are on the road to recovery—it is rocky and setbacks occur. So what do you do with this information? Do you view it as a sign that you are not going to be able to recover? Does ED try to tell you that recovery is not going to be worth the effort? That you should get off that bumpy road and just go back home—with him.

But ED is not promising an easy life either. He might sound seductive as he calls to you, but he is like the sirens calling to the sailors. When they listen to the sirens’ calls, they end up on the rocks with broken bodies and boats.

Bumpy roads are part of life—recovery, daily goals, long-term goals. There is no guarantee that anything will come easily. What each of us needs to do, though, is identify goals that are important and make the commitment to reach them even when we face obstacles. Often the most important goals are the hardest to reach. Struggling to get somewhere or achieve something makes us appreciate it that much more. Each year, I have loved attending this retreat, but there was something different this time. A part of me listened closer to messages of friendship and craft because I had fought so hard to get there.

Was the Universe telling me to stay home? If it was, I didn’t listen. By not listening to this “message”, by overcoming the obstacles placed in front of me, I found fulfillment of other universal needs. I enjoyed friendship and a chance to enhance my creative skills.

                Now—journal about omens or signs from the universe that you are detecting in your recovery. If you have a slip, do you give that more power than it deserves? Do you feel that this is the universe telling you that you can’t get better? Write about these omens and your thoughts. My car wasn’t trying to stop me from getting where I needed to be. It just happened to breakdown. A comment, an action, a sign only has the power that you give it. Write about what power you’re giving away. Write about how to take it back.

                Write positive affirmations for yourself for when you hit up against some obstacles.

                Journal about how you interpret situations, do you give them more power because you bring unresolved feelings from past relationships into the present?

                Do you need to shore up some coping skills to get past these rocky spots? I was only able to continue on my trip once my car got towed and I got another vehicle. Sometimes you need help along the way. Journal about coping skills you can use and people you can turn to. Plan out how to get past the obstacle you’re facing or how to decrease its power the next time it rears its head.

Write On!   

Martha Peaslee Levine, M.D.

               

               

Comments

[Laura]

I think about this all the time. When do you see troublesome events as simply obstacles that you must find a way to overcome and when do you see them as signs that you should stop what you're doing? It's a tough question for me....

[Martha Levine]

Laura,

I think this is a tough question. Some of it may relate to the goal that you're striving for. If I had been driving to a different conference or a shorter event, I might have gone home. I continued my journey because I knew this would be important to my creative self.
As a writer, I have had many pieces of work rejected. At times I, and probably every writer, has questioned is the universe trying to tell me something? What I typically consider when I get a piece of work back--do I need to revise it now that I have more information and more tools? Do I need to send it to someone else who will view the work differently? I don't want to look at giving up because this goal is too important to me.
So in recovery, if you have a slip, step back and think, do I have other tools that I can bring to help with this? Are there other people or programs that can help me? Maybe you need to bring some fresh ideas to the recovery process.
Recovery is too important to give up on. The obstacles may be high, but you can find other tools to help get over them. And think about what this obstacle might be trying to teach you.
I remember a quote from somewhere that we're only given what we can handle. I think that's important to remember. If an obstacle is there, we can handle it--but we might need some help.
Only look for signs if they are going to help inspire you but not if they are going to stop you in your tracks.
Hope that helps.
Write On!
M

[Laura]

Yes, that does help. I like what you said about thinking about what the obstacles might be trying to teach me. And I especially like what you said about the importance of your goal. You said you might have turned around if it had been a different conference or a shorter event. Well, there's no doubt in my mind that recovery is worth it. There's no doubt that, when I do finally master this food/self stuff, it will be well worth it. And I guess even when there are obstacles, there's no way the universe could be saying, "Have an eating disorder! That's the answer! This obstacle is here to tell you to stop trying and to just settle for an eating disorder!" Obviously the universe wouldn't say that...

Thank you for answering my comment. Your answer is very helpful. I think when it comes to this topic (recovery from an eating disorder), persistence is always the answer.