This
young man shared his story with our patients last week. This is the second time
I have heard his story, and each time I am so encouraged. He gave me permission
to post it here. I hope you gain some hope from it as well! Enjoy...
Life is a journey that can be predictable and unpredictable. We sometimes know where we are and where we want to go, but sometimes the stress of daily life can put us in a place where we have no idea how or why we got there. I would like to tell you my story about the place where I ended up.
At the start of high school, I strove for perfection and greatness. Throughout the year, I grew more and more concerned with perfection in all aspects of my life. With these high expectations, it resulted in me thinking that I myself was also not physically perfect. During my freshman year, I tried out for Varsity soccer. After running a few drills with the team, I felt like I was terribly out of shape. I pushed myself to exercise more and more and eat less. As a result, I lost weight striving for a healthy and fit body, at a rate that was definitely unhealthy. I can still remember the nights when I could barely sleep due to the sharp pains of hunger in my stomach. I would tell myself, "This is for perfection."
My mind began to change; I ignored hunger and endured the pain. I became obsessed with exercise and so called "healthy" foods. When I worked out, I would not pay an attention to the pain or the fatigue. Eventually, the body signs disappeared; my mind programmed itself in a new but horrible way. As I slowly disappeared, my parents started to notice and started to be concerned. They saw their son who was funny, bright, and truthful become a wreck. A person who was agitated easily, a person who lied for himself, for the eating disorder. At the point, my mind was in the hands of ED. Whenever I felt content the eating disorder would push me further.
As time went on, I had another chance for the Varsity soccer team. Consider myself in better shape than the year before, I went out confidently. By the end of the try out, I felt I had for sure made the Varsity team. To my surprise I did not. Disappointed, I joined Junior Varsity. As the season went on, my body continued to eat itself alive, in order to survive. My pulse, heart rate, and weight plummeted downwards to the point where I almost stared death right in the face. I can still remember my last junior varsity soccer game, before the first half; I was dead tired, due to the lack of nutrition. My parents put me on the scale and saw that I was underweight they immediately called the Dr. to find out what they could do.
Sure
enough, I was diagnosed with an eating disorder. I was underweight, miserable,
angry, dangerously unhealthy, and deeply obsessed with the idea of perfection.
My hope disappeared. Looking back on that moment, I now realize that my parents
as well as Melrose saved my life. I would not be here telling you this story
right now if it wasn't for them. These two are a big part of the reason I am
here now.
My recovery began immediately after I was diagnosed. I was put in the hospital with a group of mainly teenage girls and women who had eating disorders. The goal was to restore my body and mind. I still remember how uncomfortable I felt the first few days, being surrounded by a group of ladies. As time passed, my confidence grew when talking to girls.
During this one-month hospitalization, I learned from many women's stories of how and why this happened to them. The point that struck me was that many of them were striving for the same perfection that I was looking for. In addition, I began to see the pressure placed on women from society. I found myself realizing that there is also pressure put on men.
Once I was discharged from the hospital. I thought it would be an easy win against the eating disorder, but in fact, I had a few more tests to overcome. I faced two broken legs because of running too much. I paid the price, and I suffered. I remember the eating disorder tempting me during that time. But, yet again, my parents and Melrose stepped in to help. They helped and supported me through the rough times. I would have never won the fight against my eating disorder without them. If it weren’t for all the sessions and meetings, me and my parents would still be struggling. Melrose educated my parents so that when we weren't at Melrose, my parents could notice if something was wrong.
Since I have gone through recovery, I am mentally and physically stronger than ever. My personality is better overall and my physical health is excellent. In addition I can now talk to girls. MY future is leading me towards physical therapy because I want to help others return to their normal lives. So through what I learned and have been through I can give back to the people. My journey has given me the experience of fighting an eating disorder and has given me a passion to help people to find the strength and confidence to return to their lives, no matter what their struggle may be. I have been touched by so much compassion and understanding that my personal mission is to give it back to those in need.
I successfully graduated from high school, and just recently finished my first year of college while competing in collegiate cross-country. I would have never have dreamed that I would be running cross-country, and that I'm healthy and eating disorder free.
One support that helped the most was the support of friends and family. My parents love me so much that they would do anything to keep me alive. The other support was Melrose treatment center. They have given me guidance as well as giving guidance to my parents so that they can also help me. These two supports were essential to my recovery. When fighting an eating disorder, you can't stand-alone, you need support and care.
One last word of advice is that even though I am an adult, I still want my parents to know about my health at all times so that if something goes wrong we can catch it sooner. After all, even if your parents seem annoying, I guarantee that they only have your best interests at heart. Accept their help because they want the best for you and they love you. Despite being angry and annoyed with my parents numerous times, I have the up-most respect for them. They never gave up on me, no matter what I said to them. I am who I am now because of their efforts.
