Accidental Peace by Lee Wolfe Blum

Are you going to fight for your life?

We are all living in a storybook. Are we not? And what if, in this storybook the story can change.

It does in movies. It does actually in real life, but often we are resistant to the change or we are afraid. And sometimes it really comes down to fighting for your life.

Fighting for a different story.

Eating Disorder Free Holiday!

Managing the Holidays

For families and support people of those struggling with an Eating Disorder.

The holidays can be extremely difficult for those with eating disorders. It can also be stressful and worrisome for family members of those struggling.

Here are a few things I highly recommend doing so you can make Thanksgiving (or any Holiday) eating disorder free.

DO Have a discussion now with the person in your life battling Ed. Ask them what they are worried about, what brings them anxiety during holidays, and what kind of thoughts they are having. Don’t fix…just listen and the repeat back with, “I hear you saying that…”

DO Ask what you can do to help. Bring a piece of paper and pen and write down a few tools that you decide on together that YOU can do to help the person struggling.

Try Something NEW!

I have been buried in revising and finishing my book Accidental Peace. I have now officially finished the book. This was the third revision and finally I finished it...literally with footnotes and everything! So I apologize for the lack of posts here. Every moment I had free was spent on finishing the book. Now on to the next task of securing an agent and then a publisher. But I am back to writing here, so don't give up! I hope you enjoy the post today :).

Happy Living!

xo xo

Lee

"To dare is to lose one's footing momentarily.  To not dare is to lose oneself."  ~Soren Kierkegaard

Hop shuffle step. Hop shuffle step. Oh it was so much more than hop shuffle step. It was tap class and as an adult I found it quite challenging. Last year my friend encouraged me to try a tap class with her. Fun, I thought. I had no idea the rewards from such a simple willingness.

To try something new.

And the challenge of intricate footwork that left me on my rear many times.

Are you willing to do something you have NEVER done before. Why not? Why not  step out of your comfort zone? How often are you willing to do that? Did you know that by trying something new we stimulate new pathways in our brain! We actually reap health benefits when we get out of our comfort zone. Sure it is uncomfortable and even quite awkward. You should have seen me stumbling over my own two feet as I struggled to learn a dance that looks so simple when you watch 5 year olds do it. But, I was energized by it, filled with excitement by the joy of being able to master (ok, not really master but just be able to do it!)  something new.

Today I encourage you to do something new. Try a different path home, call someone instead of text them, sign up for a class of something you have never done before, walk a different way down the hall. You will  be amazed at how good it actually feels! Trying something new requires courage but it also forces you to grow! Won’t you give it a try today?

 

 

Freedom from an eating disorder

Freedom

We talk a great deal about freedom. Freedom of speech. Freedom to vote. Free press.

How about FREEDOM from an eating disorder? I can’t tell you how many times a day I hear people (mostly from family and friends of someone struggling) say; “well, looks like this is just something he or she will struggle with his/her entire life.”

Not true.

Eating disorders are not a choice. Recovery is.

Stinkin Thinkin.

“This is beautiful. This needs to be published. Finish it.”

She said to me with tears in her eyes and hope on her face after reading through my manuscript. Another author, one I highly respect, filled me with what felt like an ocean of encouragement in my dry desert mind.

I have been working on a book (actually three books) for over 7 years now. I could wallpaper my walls with the rejection letters. I have wavered from highly inspired to almost setting all of the paper on fire and giving up. I struggle with thoughts like this:

I have wasted time writing that I could have been spending with my family.

All the money I have put towards this writing …and for what?

Why did I think I was a writer? This isn’t my gift. I am trying to force a hand that isn’t meant to be.

Who would want to read this story…yet another addiction story.

So when she said those words to me, heartfelt and truthful. I believed her.

For a day. Actually, maybe a week.

At the moment of surrender

"At the moment of surrender I folded to my knees. I did not notice the passers-by and they did not notice me." U2

Hands high in the air while rain pounds hard on my face. The night sky screams with booms of thunder and blinding flashes of lightening. Electric guitar and voices of thousands singing. 

"I've been in every black hole. At the altar of the dark star. My body's now a begging bowl That's begging to get back, begging to get back. 

To my heart

To the rhythm of my soul." U2 

Today my husband and I celebrate 15 years of marriage. On Saturday I turn 39. While standing at this concert last Saturday my soul sang out these words. To God. To the world. To you.

Me and my friend...

I am tired she says. I listen and put her to bed.

I want some m&m's she told me today. I go buy them and give her some.

I need to be around people right now, she begs, I call a friend.

I am anxious about things, she whispers. I give her a breath and some soothing thoughts.

We are a team. Me and my friend. We used to be enemies. She would ask me for things and I would ignore her. Often I would pretend I didn't hear her. Many times I would call her names.

Very mean names.

I wouldn't let her cry, if she did I would call her "weak." And I made sure she didn't get too close to anyone. That would hurt too much.

She liked to work hard, but I made her work harder. She liked to play. I wouldn't let her.

But we fell apart the two of us. We couldn't exist in constant opposition.

I surrendered. I asked God to help me learn to love her. I asked for help from others to, to learn to listen to her, to learn to accept her for exactly who she is. And slowly we became friends again. Slowly.

I didn't trust her, I needed to see she was trustworthy. That she knew what she was doing.

She was. She is.

We are friends now, good friends. She tells me things I need to know. She tells me when she is hungry, when she is tired, when someone isn't safe, and when she needs to rest.

And I listen. I listen closely because once I used to hate her.I have forgiven her. She has forgiven me.

Now I find her wise. So I listen. And she is pretty fun!

You have a friend like this too. The world tells you to hurt her and toughen her up. Tells you to work her into thinness or into perfection. She doesn't like that. It won't work. I tried it.

Do you know her? Do you listen to her when she talks to you? S

She is your body. She is smart. She wants to tell you things.

Won't you listen?

Space in my brain...

There is space in my brain.

Not because I am a blonde, no because Ed doesn't reside there anymore. Walking up the rocky path of the Colorado mountainsde I spun. I spun ideas, and dreams, and goals, and memories. Spun all in the space where Ed used to live.

You see, all that space that the eating disorder takes up in your head can be used for so much more.

I never new that. I am not sure I would have believed it 16 years ago.

Hungry For Hope conference

Hi friends. Just wanted to let you know about a great conference next WEEK for those impacted by eating disorders and body image issues. My husband and I are speaking at it and can tell you it will be a great time of learning and inspiration for professionals and community members alike. This year's theme is "A Family Affair" so we'll be getting into all those fun family dynamics, and learning how to love well in the process of treatment and recovery. It's at the Glen Eyrie Castle in Colorado Springs June 15-18. Click here to see a slideshow from last year, to see 2011 schedule and here to register . It will be a fantastic conference! Please pass this on to anyone who might be interested. If you live in area there is one day registration too!

Lee

Now what?

Nights awake worrying.

Conversations with others on how to help.

Worry racing through your veins day and night. Long searches on the internet titled, “How to help a friend who has an eating disorder.”

The confrontation occurred and your loved one/friend/spouse/child has begun treatment for an eating disorder and you find yourself relieved. You throw yourself on the couch and let out a large sigh.

Now What?

  
Another thought begins to shake your mind.

Now what?