Paws, you are right that this incremental approach to making changes applies to food- and to virtually everything (makes approaching changes just a tad less daunting since we can always use this system- no matter the type of change we're taking on).
One of the big problems people run into when they try things (or even before they try something!) is to get too far ahead of themselves in terms of what the thing they're trying "means" and "what will happen next" and "what should happen next" and "how fast should I make the next thing happen next" and on and on and on and... and then massive anxiety and the thought: "I'll flippin' never try this again!" and "I'm a failure" and other lousy things you guys say to yourselves.
You have to get yourself to stay right where you are. So, say it's 1/100 of a teaspoon of ice cream you're thinking of trying. Ok. Good. Go for it. And then that's done. End of project. Don't let yourself get lost in thoughts about whether you should now try 1/50 of a teaspoon, or how soon you should try 1/50 of a teaspoon, or that normal people could have the whole teaspoon already... these kinds of thoughts will only ruin the moment (and preclude you from being able to see how really cool the thing you just did was!!!).
Then, at some point you may try 1/100 teaspoon again. Or you may not. Or you may try something else (either 1/100 teaspoon of some other food, or 1/75 teaspoon of ice cream...who knows... there are lots of options for experimenting). Give yourself permission to do one experiment at a time- and NO more than that.
Our psyches are not at all fooled if/when we say the words "I'm going to have 1/100 teaspoon of ice cream and that's it for the project and I'll be really proud and happy with myself" if we don't really honestly mean them! Our psyches know when we're not telling the truth. So, if you say the above sentence but what you actually mean is something like: (probably said with a mean-ish tone of voice) "Ok, I'll do this silly little project of 1/100 teaspoon of ice cream, but it's such a small amount that I'm ridiculous, and all that will really count is when I'm eating a whole bowl of ice cream- until then I'm lame" then you're only going to get yourself into trouble with yourself! And that will result in increased anxiety, feeling like you're lame and worthless and incompetent, and likely never getting to have that 1/100 teaspoon of ice cream. And how sad would that be?!
Thanks, Johanna! You're clearly well-acquainted with the "mean-ish" voice which is very familiar. Trying a teeny, tiny, "not even trying" portion of something, foodwise or otherwise is sure to bring out that tone. All or nothing, that has felt like the only acceptable route for so long. It's comforting to see your thoughts on an allowance for the INCREMENTAL.
The "mean-ish" voice is sort of a default, automatic voice. Do I even notice that I sound mean when I hear that voice?
Posted by: Pauses4paws | July 29, 2010 at 08:31 AM
This is an amazingly anxiety-reducing way to approach a challenge!
Posted by: Laura | July 29, 2010 at 11:13 AM
I know we've all done this...taken 2 steps forward and about 45 steps back, but what do you really do in that case? Just get back on the horse?
For about 5 weeks I was weighing myself only on Fridays. Well, last Friday I had a mini freak out, hated my body like crazy, and didn't like the number on the scale. So, I decided I was going to weigh myself until it went back down and I was happy with the number. Well, I ended up weighing myself 3000 times last weekend and have continued to weigh myself everyday this week. I know I shouldn't really be weighing myself, but I just want to see a number I'm happy with and then I will stop. I was so fed up that on Monday I said to my T, "Please don't give the 'do you want to get better' lecture because I can't really hear that right now." All I is to get skinny. I know it's stupid that this is partially brought on my the 1 pound I've gained, the rest being my complete disgust for my body.
Posted by: PTC | July 30, 2010 at 02:47 PM