knowing what planet you're on

Someone who read the post about being on a new planet and not understanding how it works told me she thought she knew exactly how the planet worked but "just couldn't do" it right.

It made me think more about this planet thing. I stand by everything I've said so far- about how to learn about the new planet and how to give yourself time to adjust and how to be patient and ask questions and not try to do it all alone. I think that's all spot on for what the heck to do once you've arrived on your new "totally awesome" planet (I'm trying to remember the exact term SuperEgg used about her new planet- something to the effect of totally awesome...).

But what if you haven't left the old planet? And how do you know if you've left the old planet, or if you've arrived on a new planet? 

Often, when we're stuck on an old planet we don't realize that there are other planets out there- it doesn't even occur to us that we may have options (CHOICE!!!) about what planet we'd like to live on. When we've spent a long, long time on one planet, we tend to think the way that planet is, and does things, and behaves, is the "normal" way.

This is exactly what my client was saying, although she didn't realize it. She actually hasn't left her old planet yet. She can, in a clear moment, get a glimpse of a new planet out there- and it looks enticing and peaceful for her- she can see that she'd fit in there and that the ways of doing life on that planet really work well. But, that's in a clear moment.

Much of the time though she still doesn't get to have clear moments. She's still quite mired in trying to "be good" about the ways of the old planet- trying to do it the way people on the old planet do it, trying to change herself (and in the process, losing touch with what's true to herself) into something that "looks right" for the old planet. Consequently, she spends a lot of time feeling guilty that she can't "get it right" and feeling like a failure and thinking she should banish herself from the world.

As long as she stays on this old planet she'll never have any true peace. While in that world she's stuck with only 2 options: try to be someone other than herself so she can fit in (and this only works for a very brief period of time before it backfires BADLY- and even for that brief period of time trying to do this is costing her tremendously) or be who she really is and face horrible opposition and criticism and misunderstanding. What a couple of really lousy (and impossible) options to have to choose from!

The only way out is to leave the planet to go live on one that's truly hospitable. I know that's easier said than done. I know it requires huge amounts of courage, and effort, and patience, and a good amount of faith and support thrown in there also!

But if the options are to either be on a planet where there's not ANY chance of it ever working, or taking the chance to move to a new planet where it will in fact work.... 

Comments

[Laura]

Wow this post was so meaningful to me today. Thank you.

[leanonme]

Wow this is a tough one. One i can relate to in a Big way. It is so difficult to push against such fear and uncertainty. Yet equally as heart rentching to stay stuck in my small world of safety. So i have been working with my t. branching out and trying to acknowlege what is an appropriate challenge to take on at any particular moment. Each time i there is a change in my routine i get ruffled, anxious, depressed. I wish it were different but thats the way i feel and i cant help it.I also dont want it.

So tomorrow i am venturing out of my routine. As to be exspected i am nervous and anxious. Im sure it will be fine but send me good energy if you wouldnt mind. THanks

[Courtney]

Thank you for this post. I was having a hard time with the whole idea of having to adjust to what the cool new planet looks like but maybe I haven't left the old planet. How do I leave the old planet? You said you need courage for that but I just don't know if I'm brave enough to leave what I know for something unknown. Even if the thing I know doesn't suit me, at least I know it.

[Laura]

last week, I got busy with some stuff that pertained to the future. As a result, my life got out of balance: i only was spending my energy on one aspect of my life (I wasn't present with relationships; I ignored the importance of relaxation and fun; I occasionally found myself ignoring the importance of eating normally). Recently, some of the work I have been trying to do was paying off... I was feeling like I was connecting with myself, sinking into myself - and not just fluttering about outside of myself (on the wrong planet). But when my attention went to the future, all mindfullness skills went out the window for a week. And my life got out of balance. And, as a result, last week, I lost connection with myself. I didn't mean to, but I ended up fluttering about outside of myself/ahead of myself/above myself instead of truly living in myself and in communication with myself.

at least I caught that that was happening?

So, I have some things coming up in a week. I am at risk for spending this week making the same mistake as I made last week. So, my challenge for this week is to:
1) prepare for this upcoming weekend while still staying in the present
2) spend time on preparing for future without de-prioritizing doing the things that i've found help me connect with myself and keep me grounded, rooted in my core self and in the present.
3) Even in the face of "stuff to do that stresses me out," I must keep mindful and self-aware. only with self-awareness can I notice when Im' starting to drift outside of myself. Only with self-awareness can I realize that i'm anxious - not full. And then I can breathe - not put my fork down. Only with self-awareness can I realize when my thoughts are going in directions that really aren't in line with who I am or what I'm trying to accomplish.

I don't know why I'm sharing this here. Maybe just b/c these goals remind me of our (well, Johanna's) posts here lately....

[leanonme]

Oh man Courtney i say this all the time. YOu are brave enough maybe it just will take a bit longer than you might like.

[Laura]

Courtney: Good energy coming your way! :)

[Laura]

also, as I just posted the above comment, the letters I had to type into make it go was "3mpmp22" (or osmething like that... and I read it as "3-meal plan meal plan- 22" lol :)

[Courtney]

Thanks guys!

[Super Egg]

you guys are all very cool, i like reading your comments