2 Perfection Deflection Awards and a reminder to all of us

Both Wendy and Laura get Perfection Deflection Awards. Wendy gets one for never giving up in her recovery and keeping going no matter what! (and also for recognizing this about herself!). Laura gets one for experimenting with thinking her own thoughts and making her own choices! Yay for both of you. Keep up the good work.

And... a friendly reminder...

I was talking with someone the other day, someone who is doing really good work on herself. She's recently begun taking over responsibility for monitoring some aspects of her recovery that she's been hesitant to monitor up until now. It's a big project, one she's taking very seriously and one that she's going to be pretty darn good at as she gets used to it! You know, any of these projects we take on in recovery require an adjustment period...then we settle into them and become used to them.

So, this is all good, right? I think so. I'm super proud of her and think she has a lot of courage to try out this new way of being. It's a big change for her.

But one of this person's most frequently used phrases is: I should be done with this by now (or a variation of it, like: I shouldn't still be worried about this thing... or I'm not working fast enough...). Anyone smell perfectionism?

I'm sure you all know what friendly reminder is coming up here! Yep... Progress Not Perfection, for one thing. And, Look at where you are and how hard you've worked and be proud of that, instead of looking where you think you should be and being mad that you aren't there!

Comments

[Courtney]

I think that ALL THE TIME. It's so hard not to get stuck in that kind of thinking. I've been working hard but it seems like a never ending process and I really honestly feel like I should be doing better than I am. I don't know how to get past thinking like this.

[Super Egg]

now that is cool cool...

[wendy]

I go through bouts of thinking that, but other times I have been okwy with it being a process and progress....birthday's, new years, and other time passages tend to bring up that old voice telling me I should be further along or that I should be done with this by now. Something Johanna talked about in the past was that recovery is a broad term that includes lots of things, not just the food related behavior. That has helped me tremendously. When I am struggling with temptation to use ed behaviors, I try to point out the other progresses, like I am not so isolated, I relate better, I handle conflict better, I am not so black and white in my thinking most of the time, I don't hate myself anymore, etc. That helps me get past the slips with my old friend ED. Funny story...my husband and I were working with a therapist and one time I was so frustrated I told the therapist that I was struggling with the disconnect caused by my husbands work schedule. We had talked about it many times...I told the therapist when it was happening I was ambivalent about confronting him or just going back to ED. The therapist knows us pretty well and for the first time he looked shocked! Then I realized I hadn't used the Acronym for eating disorder in his office before. I started laughing and told him who or what ED was and he looked so relieved. He said he was racking his brain, trying to remember who the heck ED was.