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May 17, 2010


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Super Egg

my slogan for the week is, "just feel it," then go to J's blog from any month and find out what to do with it.


I have used a boxing bag, play dough, made bread and kneaded the dough, and colored with crayons. I have some friends who went to a salvage yard and got permission to take baseball bats to the cars there, the batting range, and went and bought cheap cups at the dollar store and wrote down what they were angry about and found a safe place to break them.

Turning anger in was my worst habit...I even used my eating behaviors to do it. As soon as I felt anger at a situation or person I would binge and then I would feel anger at myself. It was easier to tolerate and more familiar...now that I understand that love and anger can co-exist and that anger doesn't have to be destructive I am a bit better at sitting in it.


The #1 things not to do is exactly why I'm reaching out. I'm an expert in #1. Hopefully I can become more familiar with the things to do list. Thanks for the advice! I really, really hate this emotion!!!!!


Wendy, I LOVE the idea of whacking cars with baseball bats (with permission of course)!

Lately, I've been realizing that, when I feel anger, I want to express it physically. I'm normally a very peaceful person and with the ED I expressed no negative emotions, so this is rather new. But when I am angry, I find I have to DO something-like tear up phone books or go for an "angry run".

The other day, my friend was really angry. We were sitting in an empty classroom, so I took out some silly putty and we started throwing it with all our might against the walls. It would bounce off and ricochet off all the desks and chairs. Watching her, I could see her put all her anger into wielding the putty. Soon, we were laughing, and the room was not any worse for wear.

Silly putty has kind of been my thing for dealing with feelings over the past few years, whether it is anxiety or anger. Somehow, I usually label any feeling I don't like as anger initially. I usually keep an egg of silly putty in my backpack, and over the years, I have given some to many of my close friends when they were upset. Last week, we were finishing up the semester, finals were about to start, and our track championship was starting the next day. I looked around me in class, and at least five of my friends had their silly putty out, including me! I may have started a trend!


That's awesome runforjoy! I love the silly putty idea, I think I'm going to have to go out and get some now :)

And Wendy, the idea of smashing cars sounds exhilarating :)

I'm enjoying the healthier alternative list that's building here.


Anger scares me. Talking about it, thinking about it, feeling it. I avoid the word like the plague. Steven Levenkron says in his book "The Luckiest Little Girl in the World" "You may not want to call it anger, you may want to call it spinach" and goes on to say that as long as it is communicated, it's okay. I don't want to communicate anger, I don't want to talk about it, feel it, think about it. It's big and scary and often leads to bad things. I don't "do" anger. It's just too all-consuming. Anxiety is also all-consuming, but it *feels* safer--less likely to explode into harmful behaviors.


Is it okay to punch the hell out of a punching bag, even if you don't have gloves and know your hands will end up with some broken blood vessels?

Punching always makes me feel better. I think I need a punching bag. I think I tend to not eat as well. Oh well.


We are getting ready to remodel our kitchen...I got to take a hammer to the tile counter top...and it felt really good for some anger I was feeling.

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