big winds, little winds, all kinds of winds...

Winds are a funny thing. There are all kinds of varieties of winds, and just as many names in many different languages.

For our purposes, we're thinking of "winds" as life events. 

And just like life, there is an amazing array of wind types, everything from benign relaxing breezes, to restless pre-storm wind, to tornados and those kinds of winds that whip up sand storms in deserts.

Some wind types are perfectly harmless; we even think some are romantic- like a tropical breeze at sunset, maybe? Some aren't harmful exactly but can be darn irritating or bothersome. Some are mildly dangerous under some circumstances, and others are dangerous no matter what the situation.

To give life even more variety, different winds affect people differently. Some people really like wind in general (people who like to sail even depend on it!), while others are quickly bothered or disturbed by wind. Wind can make some people very anxious, even damagingly so. This partly has to do with what innate kind of puzzle we have- some people have the equivalent of steel puzzles, others have wood, others cardboard... (this isn't a moral thing or a character flaw thing- it's simply a fact- puzzles are made of many different substances- just like we all have are own unique genetics that are handed down through our families- for all you judgmental perfectionists out there, you aren't allowed to interpret what I'm saying as "oh, Johanna's saying I don't have the perfect puzzle type so I'm a failure... nice try though...)

There are the kinds of winds that overwhelm pretty much anyone and everyone- war, for instance. And there are the kinds of winds that can be damaging or even lethal but seem more subtle (not glaring and blatant like a war type of wind). There are acute winds (big, one-time events, like a massive hurricane or a rape, for example), and there are long-term, chronic winds that wear away at us over time (growing up being raised by a parent who suffers from chronic, long-term depression; domestic abuse; suffering chronic anxiety; being viciously teased chronically at school or by a sibling...).

Sarah, you say you haven't suffered any big winds. I hear that a lot from people. Maybe you haven't had one big acute wind (and I'm thrilled for you if you have not- it's so great to have been spared any huge wind in a life), but perhaps you've experienced constant, chronic winds of some sorts.

Also, remember, that when we're children, we experience winds as much more confusing and threatening than when we're adults.

As adults we can reason through what the wind might be- and we have history and experience to draw on to help us categorize the wind. We also have far more developed cognitive capacities than when we're children, and we can use them to gather information and acquire answers/data/evidence that can help us deal with whatever wind we're up against. It may be that you experienced certain types of winds as a child that felt more overwhelming then than they might now that you're an adult.

We also can accidentally cause ourselves wind, even though that seems strange, and even though we'd never want to do that to ourselves! For instance, people that worry horribly, even in the face of evidence that everything's ok, cause themselves a lot of extra wind (the kind that wears away at you and wears you down over time). And people for whom a medication for anxiety or depression would be really, really helpful but who won't let themselves take it cause themselves extra wind.

The moral of the story, as usual, is that it's a good idea to get familiar with what kinds of winds we face in our lives- those ones that are historical as well as those that are currently with us. The more familiar we are with them, the more power we have to help ourselves be prepared for them and deal with them when they come- and to understand which ones we need not be afraid of and which ones, in the face of which, we need to run for the hills.

Comments

[Courtney]

I'm on the brink of grasping the big picture of this post (I think I've got it; not sure) but something that caught my attention was when you said that there are good winds. I thought why would Humpty Dumpty get knocked over and fall apart by good winds? Then I thought about when good things happen to me and yep, I get knocked over. Pretty much any change knocks me over. That's not to say it's with the same quality as other times but it still happens. Ok, I had no question in there, just a thought...

[Super Egg]

i think alot about winds, especially since it is winter time. and my anxiety is currently so severe i can barely leave my house...so i watch the wind outside alot. personally it seems rather mean. blowing helpless trees until they get pulled out by there roots. and big stoic trees, will stand and take it all year. after each leaf is gone, they stand and freeze. not like they get a jacket while they wait for their leaves to grow back. i guess i see myself as the big stoic tree, i have one in my front yard to look at. and i find myself thinking, even if this tree is exhausted, nothing can kill it. maybe not such a good thing. maybe it feels tortured. but we will never know what is going on for this tree, it always looks the same, big and strong.

[Ann]

I was having dinner with a friend of mine tonight, I called her so that I would eat and not be tempted to listen to Ed. Anyways, we were talking about what's been going on, about all the stress and anxiety and everything I've been letting get the best of me. I told her that I feel stupid, I don't think its an emotion. However, that's how I feel, stupid, stupid for not being able to handle the stress of student teaching, stupid for using Ed behaviors to somehow make the stress of student teaching not be so stressful, stupid for having so much anxiety over things that are to the outside eye nothing to have anxiety over. So, I feel stupid for creating my own wind to mix into whatever wind was already blowing through my puzzle. I feel stupid when I have to admit that I cannot pick up my own puzzle pieces and put them back together.

I didn't call my counseling center to try and get in to see the on call counselor today. I'm still teaching all six class and will continue teaching all of them till the first week of May. I'm exhausted and don't know if I'll be able to stay awake to accomplish anything for tomorrow.

[leanonme]

Ok so i really like this puzzle piece idea. Question: Do we come into this world with our puzzle pieces put together neat and tidy or do we put these pieces together ourselves? Puzzles are just so simple and neat at least on the outside of the box, but the pieces dont put themselves together all by themselves. So is it up to us to put these pieces into place so as to not be so vulnerable to wind storms?

Also i so relate to the idea that we find different and often not so healthy ways to keep our puzzle together. It is so true for me at least that i find many different ways to try to hold myself ( puzzle) together so i can withstand the winds that i face in my world. So once you get your puzzle into place should we be able to withstand winds of any magnitude? Or is that an illusion? I always feel as if i have to be on Guard for those big winds that so blindly knock me off Humpty Dumpy's Wall.

Is the glue or putty that holds our puzzle together a healthy way to live our lives? Or where does it need to be more efficiently retrofitted by different behaviors.? Maybe its ok using putty as we might need to?

Ok now im rambling.. So enough for now. Like i said i love this image and am just trying to get more clarity with this idea

Ps... I find it very serendipitous that my puzzle that im doing in honor of this image seems to be missing pieces.Hmmm..... I wonder what that means?

[Ann]

I have a day off of school! Come 8am, I'm calling my T to see if she has an opening, keep those fingers crossed!! This is only if the snow doesn't cancel everything.

[wendy]

I love the wind pictures...we lived in west texas for awhile and in the town i was in many of the trees were bent towards the direction the wind usually blew. I know for myself that I had huge winds in my life, but when I first entered therapy I did not recognize them as big winds because I was so shut down and in denial. I also know when I broke my knee and was on crutches little breezes terrified me...when i looked at some of my smaller winds I realized I struggled with them because of past things...after I dealt with those the smaller winds are not so terrifying....:)

[Ann]

My T made time for me today, which is great. Slowly trying to find my missing puzzle pieces, Ed keeps lying to me about where they're at. I keep hearing messages from Ed and Perfection. So, I'm on here trying to distract myself so that I don't turn to behaviors. No one is home and it is so tempting, but like my T says, which I totally hate when she does, it's my choice. I can choose to disobey Ed or I can choose to listen to him. I know she is right and sometimes it is just so hard to disobey and listening to him makes it seem like everything will get so much better and that I'll feel so much better. That is such a lie though, I'll actually end up feeling terrible about myself, guilty, ashamed and will end up being more likely to turn to him again and again because I'll have beat myself up so badly that I won't be able to see the light on the other side of the path. This is where I have been for several weeks now, off the path listening to everything Ed and Perfection are whispering in my ear. They make it incredibly difficult to think good things about myself.
Even though they make it so difficult, I'm going to keep fighting, because I am worth recovery. (that just took me like ten minutes to write) I'm just going to keep saying that over and over and over and over again. Okay, I feel like I can choose not to use a behavior now. Back to planning.

[Tiger]

Today was really hard. I wish that i could look at food and see it just for the nutrition that it is. I don't see any winds recently. Though, this could be just an afterbreeze from some recent events. *sigh*

[Ann]

I have another day off school tomorrow!!! YAY :) It is sooo needed!!!!! Ahhh, I can Breathe, feels good.