the gift place

The Gift Place. That's the name someone gave to a state of peace and calm and connectedness she discovered in her work on herself and with me.

She'd had an extremely stressful life with no opportunity to feel any calm or safety or peace. 

As she learned to trust me and trust herself she began to discover a tranquility, a few moments at a time in my office where she truly got to rest.

Over time she's been able to spend more and more time in the Gift Place, for which she's enormously grateful. My hope is that eventually she'll mostly live in that Gift Place.

In any time of the year we should all pay attention to where our Gift Places are and how to cultivate them. It's especially true at this time of year, when there's lots going on and it's easy to forget to slow down...

In addition to Ann's fabulous quote she learned at her group, let's all remember to keep living in (or returning to, or working to find...) our Gift Places.

Comments

[Super Egg]

i have true love 4 this post ;)

[runforjoy]

We just got a snowstorm here, and somehow the white snow over everything reminds me to breathe and think about peace. I really need that today because I'm home for the holidays and home is not a very peaceful place. Do you have any advice on how to stop absorbing all the tension whenever parents are fighting? I've always felt like it is my duty to fix it and make everyone okay. I realize on a rational level that their issues are not mine to fix, yet I find myself still absorbing all the tension and feeling helpless to deal with it.

[Ann]

I've been there runforjoy and totally feel for you. It's such a strain. I had to remind myself over and over and over again that them arguing had nothing to do with me. It wasn't my fault. They would have had the argument whether I was there or not. I finally had to find a somewhat quiet place to go to get away from the constant tension. Sometimes I would simply crawl into my bed and write on here. Other times I had to physically leave the house, but in the end I had to believe that it wasn't my responsibility to stop the arguing or to fix the tension and that it wasn't my fault. My parents had their own issues to work out that had nothing to do with me. There's still tension sometimes but as long as I remind myself its not my fault then I'm able to escape the black hole. I hope that helps! Good luck!

It snowed here today too. I woke up to a wintery wonderland. As I was driving to work I was in awe of the beauty of the white covered road with the white covered trees overhead. It was an awesome scene!!! :)

[runforjoy]

Thanks, Ann. I'm sorry you've dealt with this too. At the same time, it is reassuring to hear that I'm not the only one in this situation. I've also been repeating to myself over and over that it isn't my fault, and I'm hoping eventually I'll really believe it. Leaving the house sounds like a good option- I could drive to a coffee shop or a friend's house or even the park around the corner to cry for a bit. I would face their questions when I get back, but it might be the best way to take care of myself in that moment. I so wish we could just say the right thing to make everyone okay. Thanks again.

[Ann]

I wish that too runforjoy! I just had a run in with my older sister. She just blew up at me. Apparently I can comment on the tv being too loud that it hurts my head or talk to her daughters about a mess they made in the living room. Cause those are nasty comments and I should just stay in my room isolated from my family because I don't deserve to be around them. I'm not nice, I'm too rude and only deserve to keep myself company. I actually feel bad for buying her something for Christmas and her husband who never speaks to anyone. I wish I had a Gift Place to go to right now.

I guess this blog is my Gift Place. I just need a physical Gift Place now. Wow, my sister really hurt my feelings.