Ann's letter to her therapist

Ann, therapists have all different kinds of views on communication between clients and therapists. 

Without knowing your previous therapist, I couldn't say with certainty how she'd react to you sending her a letter. But, what I can tell you is that in general, therapists very much are interested in how people are doing- after people leave therapy for whatever reason we don't usually get to know how they do, and that's hard!

So, I think in this case it's fine for you to write the kind of letter you are suggesting. When you write her, be clear about how you are conceptualizing the letter (just say exactly what you did in your comment- that you don't expect her to write back, that you know you guys didn't talk before she left about communicating, and that you felt you really wanted to let he know how the transition had gone for you and how you are doing now). When you're clear about the conceptualization of the letter (what you expect, how you'd want her to respond, etc.) it is so helpful for the therapist- it lets us know what you're thinking, what you want- helps us not accidentally disappoint or surprise you by doing something you didn't expect or intend.

I actually think this letter of yours is nice on several levels. It not only allows you to to tell her how you're doing, she also gets to know that you've made it through the transition and that although it was a challenge you are ok, and it allows you to acknowledge the work that you and she did (and it was a significant, and successful, piece of work you two did, for sure!).

So, as far as I can see, go for it!

Comments

[Ann]

:)

Thanks Johanna!

[PTC]

I think the letter is a great idea, Ann. I think Johanna has great points. I think she would be honored to receive a letter from you, and not bothered by it at all. I am glad things are going well for you too.

My T. (I think you know), goes on maternity leave next month. She keeps talking about the person covering for her and the benefits of going to talk to her, but I'm not so sure about that. I just think it would be weird to go talk to some random person a couple of times, or for the entire time my T. is away, or whatever. I don't know. I am going to ask my T if she thinks I should go talk to her. I'm more likely to go if she thinks I should go. I still think it's awkward though.

[Ann]

Maybe you could meet her prior to your T going on maternity leave. That would make it less weird. At least that helped in my place. Even though my situation was a permanent change and not a temp one.

[PTC]

I'll discuss it more with my T tomorrow to see if she thinks I need to go see someone else while she's gone. I am pretty sure I can handle 2 months on my own.

[Ann]

I have noticed that time does fly by. I haven't been able to get an appointment with my T for the past three weeks. So, it will have been a month since our last appointment when I finally get back in there.

So, I guess two months isn't that long a period of time Depending on how I'm doing with my relationship with Ed. If I'm doing great and Ed is really quiet then it goes really fast otherwise I freak out a lot. You could always call and make an appointment if you feel like over the 2 month time frame you need to talk to someone. Not like you make a decision and can't change it the next day.

Good Luck PTC! I'm sure everything will work out fine :)

[PTC]

Thanks Ann. I asked her today if she thought I should go see the other lady. I said, "I am going to ask you a question and you better not answer with a question." She thinks it would be good for me to go. I said, "I want a yes or no answer...something definitive." It appears to me that she wants me to go so I don't "seal over." I see her three times a week and still find it hard to talk, so I think she thinks if I don't talk at all for two months, it will be bad.

[Ann]

I would think that it might be harder for you to open back up after not talking for two months. On the other hand you might have a lot to share after not going for that long a period of time.

You are the only one that can make the final decision. Maybe journal about it. You could make a pro/con list or a what would happen list if a) you didn't talk for two months and b) you saw the new therapist. You never know you could end up having a really good connection to the other therapist and end up opening up more.

I can say from experience that you never know what lies behind a door until you take a step on faith. I'm glad that I took my step of faith(faith in my old T, Gina, that Kim would be a good fit for me) to go see Kim. She's amazing and I would not be where I am right now without this experience.

But, that's just my journey. You have your own Journey and what worked for me may not work for you. So, I recommend reflecting. Maybe it will help you make a decision.

No matter the decision you make, I'll be here to support you!

[PTC]

Thanks Ann!! :) I will continue to talk about it with my T. She thinks it would be good for me because she thinks she might be too easy on me and thinks that maybe this other woman won't let me get away with as much stuff. We shall see.