Ann and connection dot :)

First of all, my congrats with everyone else to Ann, who's loving life at the moment. Very cool.

I also think Ann provides us with a good illustration of how the connection dot exists, and stays stable no matter what someone is up to.

Think back a couple of months. Ann was having a really, really stressful time. In all kinds of transition, lots of things up in the air, many significant changes afoot... And (the good news was), she felt we were all connected to her. And we were! We were all right there, supporting her in her work, staying steady while she endured and came through the transition, wishing her well, and liking her too!

Things began to settle down, and while they did, Ann continued to feel connected to us and to trust that connection. And we continued to be connected to her. Things were getting a bit easier in her life and we were glad and relieved for her. Our connection to her stayed exactly where it had been though. The dot didn't budge. The dot wasn't related to how difficult or easy or in between things were for Ann at the moment, right? Right.

Now, things are rocking for Ann. Her work on herself is paying off in spades, she's moving along at terrific speed in her relationship with herself. AND, her connection with us hasn't changed at all. We're all happy for her, really happy, as all the comments attest to. And we get to feel like we're all growing together and deepening our connections (knowing each other better and better over time). But, just because Ann isn't having such a hard time anymore doesn't mean our connection dot with her has moved. It's stayed right where it was- very high on the connection chart... Where, by the way, it will remain, no matter what Ann does or what kind of time she's having some other week.

How's that for an illustration? Thanks Ann! And keep up the good work- Ann, and all of you in our very fabulous and supportive community! 

Comments

[Ann]

:)

[Ann]

So True! And I am super thankful that the connection dot for this community has never changed!

You all have been so AWESOME!!

Love you all!

[wendy]

This is a good example!!! I guess part of being healthy is recognizing and choosing healthier relationships in which the connection dot is not altered by our beliefs, actions, attitudes, etc. and realizing that when we have a relationship in which the other person trys to manipulate us by withholding connection, that we realize it is about them and not us.

[Courtney]

I have been experiencing an amazing example of this connection dot thingy and believe it. I have never had this type of connection before in my life and have tried discussing this with my father. He argues that you have to be 'pretty' (my word not his) at all times in a relationship in order for people to like you. In fact, everyone in my family thinks this- it's sort of a family motto. This friend of mine accepts me no matter what type of mood I'm in and she's seen the many moods of Courtney. It's amazing to see and I'm so thankful to have someone like this in my life!

[Ann]

Courtney, I am glad that you have this friend in your life. And know that I'm here to support you no matter what! So, there's another connection dot for you that won't move!

[Laura]

I'm still have not bought into this connection dot thing. But I'm not sure it matters if I do buy in or not. Maybe I'm just acting like an argumentative kid...

I mean, I have connections like this too. I have an amazing friendship like the one Courtney described. I'm also lucky to have that type of connection with my parents too and some adult friends (Well, I'm an adult.. i guess I mean friends that are older than me - like my parents friends or coworkers who happen to be older). Maybe I'm wrong about some of these relationships and maybe the connection isn't as stable in them as I'd like to think. I tend to be a really open and trusting person.... to a fault I think.

anyway - I believe that this exists but there's no way this exists always.....

For example, my wonderful friend who has seen me in every possible mood, who I could easily openly communicate with without any fear of lessening the friendship..... if I stopped showing interest in the friendship, if I didn't nurture the friendship, if I never called her back, if I never seemed like I wanted to be around her.... then our connection would surely change.

I just don't think this connection dot makes sense b/c I don't think it's possible for something to be the case always. How can a relationship never have any possible way of changing? I feel like it's a close-minded way of looking at relationships...

I hope I'm not coming across as offensive. I don't mean to be.

I'm also not really sure if this matters. I mean, I know what you're saying. I agree that relationships like that do exist. I guess I just disagree that they're permanent (b/c nothing is permanent for sure). So I don't think it's that I'm confused. I just think it's overly simplified.

But again - I don't really think this matters. Maybe the connection dot thing just isn't really resonating with me for ssome reason - who knows why.