this week's Bumper Sticker...

Our Bumper Sticker of The Week: Tolerance

There was a huge theme of Perfectionism at work this week. I spent a lot of time trying to remind people to have tolerance for themselves. 

And because I got myself all worked up about it, you guys are stuck with me reminding all of you to have tolerance for yourselves!

We're all used to the word Tolerance. Most often it's used within the context of us being tolerant of all kinds of people; for sure an important way to use the word. We should also use the word with regard to ourselves and being tolerant of our human-ness. Tolerant of not being perfect. Tolerant of not knowing everything. Tolerant of just wanting to BE...

So, have at it... practice Tolerance for yourselves :)

And major congrats to Wendy who liked herself this week!!!! Not sure Wendy if that means you liked yourself all week or if you had moments of liking yourself, but either way, we'll take it! Keep up the good work!

Comments

[Super Egg]

Hmm.

[Laura]

I'm not in a very good mood right now, so that will probably be reflected in this comment and, by the time morning comes, I'll be thinking differently but.... this is how I'm thinking right now:

I really think having tolerance for yourself is so key. But I feel like I don't have the right to have tolerance for myself. I am such a pain to everyone - I make everyone's lives harder and more difficult - so I'm not the one who gets to have "tolerance." Its eveyrone else that can choose to have tolerance for me or not. Am I supposed to be tolerant about the fact that I'm always "in the way" of other peoples' happiness and well being? That seems a little selfish....

Dialectical Behavioral Therapy: Acceptance and Change at the same time. Maybe I can change to be less of a "life-worsening-being" while I simultaneously accept (am tolerant) that I am?

[Laura]

Okay I'm feeling less extreme now. I still think I do make other peoples' lives harder, but I'm not the worst person in the world (not that there even is such a thing). I guess I can be tolerant. And I guess I can see that the other people in the world don't 100% wish I would get out of their lives. They want what's best for me just like I want what's best for them.... (lots of ambiguity here... sorry)

[Laura]

Maybe I just am able to be tolerant of slow progress towards some goals...

but I have a really hard time at being tolerant towards other things b/c I see it as being tolerant towards "horribleness" and "total failure."

yes, i see how this is black and white but i don't see how to correct it. sometimes i think of a way to rephrase it so i don't see myself as a "total failure" or "totally horrible," but it never lasts...

kay, i'm done having a conversation with myself now haha

[Courtney]

My mom was just telling me yesterday about what she thinks of tolerance. She made a good point (I think) saying that no one wants to be tolerated. I guess it depends on your definition of tolerance. I looked it up and this is what it said:

1. acceptance of different views: the acceptance of the differing views of other people, e.g. in religious or political matters, and fairness toward the people who hold these different views

2. tolerating of somebody or something: the act of putting up with somebody or something irritating or otherwise unpleasant

My mom was thinking of definition #2. I would must rather use the word acceptance (as in #1).

I'm not really relating this back to the post at all. I guess I got caught up on the wording and would rather accept myself than tolerate myself. Seems like a better goal.

[wendy]

It is funny, what I took Johanna to mean by being tollerant of ourselves is to be gracious, patient, forgiving, etc. towards ourselves. I did not think of it like you did Courtney.

Laura, I used to think and feel like you did when you posted all of the time. Over time with the help of my counselor I have realized that everyone is a blend of strenths and weaknesses and sometimes I realize I am a pain to others and sometimes I realize they are a pain to me. But it is in the relationships that I have that I become aware of the weaknesses i have and can work on improvement and growth. At the same time it is in the relationships that my strengths really shine through. I have never met an eating disordered woman that wasn't a really neat gal who gives and loves and wants to make everyone elses life easier or better. Sometimes I am a person who contributes to some pain to someone and sometimes they make a mess out of things themselves...from what you have posted in the past...I would think you contribute a lot of wonderful things to those around you...don't give up.

Johanna I would say I did not hate myself once last week and for about 40 hours strait was aware that I liked myself...the rest just felt kind of neutral. Did get a little irriated with myself once, but worked through it with out contempt!!! YEAH

[Laura]

Thanks, Wendy. That was really sweet of you. :)

[Ann]

That's Awesome Wendy!!!