emotional emergencies

PTC, you HAD to know I'd make use of your "In emergency, shut down" bumper sticker- plus get you tease you a bit about it being clever :)

So, here's a project for you guys. Maybe it includes a list... you can decide.

We've established that shutting down (or some related strategy) can be valuable in an emergency. So PTC's comment certainly has merit. HOWEVER... what often happens is that someone's idea of what an emergency is gets broader and broader and broader- until he/she's spending a lot (or all) of her time feeling she's facing an emergency and living basically shut down.

The project is to have a look at your category of "emotional emergencies" and see what's in it (here's where I'm thinking a list could help). It may take some time to flesh out what exactly is on your list (some things will probably be really obvious to you, while others may pop up later).

Once you get some items on your list, try to figure out why each of them is there. Ask yourself what makes each one an "emergency" (also ask yourself how you define emergency).

It often turns out something like this: there's a group of things that most people in general would consider emotional emergencies (things that would truly overwhelm and damage any of us), there's a group of things that when you really examine them might be stressful, uncomfortable or challenging but wouldn't truly be dangerous to us, and there's a group of there's things that we've gotten used to being wary of but really they're not at all a threat.

If we can get clearer about what's a real emergency and what's not (but that we've become used to being afraid of over time) we'll be better prepared for what's really a threat to us, and we can get used to not shutting down in situations where we don't actually need to shut down (which, turns out, is much of daily life).

Comments

[Courtney]

am I the only one who had a hard time reading the end of the blog? the words got all cut off...

[Courtney]

oh and I know this has nothing to do with emotions but when I was a kid we had emergency EVERYTHING. Emergency milk (the kind that doesn't need to be refrigerated), an emergency bathroom (it made a weird noise when it flushed so we only used it is we really really had to), even emergency birthday gifts (in case we had to go to a birthday party and forgot to get a gift for someone). Talk about an organized family. Needless to say we rarely used any of these emergency items as we were always very well prepared. To this day I keep an emergency sweater in my car along with other emergency items and feel completely foolish if I find myself unprepared. My sister ALWAYS has a snack with her. I don't think we used the term emergency quite right. :)

[wendy]

Thanks, Johanna, for such a helpful and practical blog.

[Ann]

No, I had trouble too Courtney.

[Ann]

Tomorrow's the day I say goodbye. I'm just freaking out right now. I've got my note so I can share it with her, but I'm so scared to not have her to talk to anymore. I feel like I did when I had to stop playing college softball because my dad made me transfer schools since he refused to co-sign any more loans. It sucked, I survived, but I do wonder what my life would be like if that had never happened. Would I be trying to recover from Ed? Would Ed had shown up at all? Would I be an artists selling my artwork in my own gallery somewhere? Would I be teaching PE and doing my art on the side? What would life be like? It's so hard when things are taken away when you're not ready. I'm not ready to say goodbye, I've tried and tried to prepare for this moment. But I've never been able to pinpoint anything, I've not been able to straighten out any of my thoughts or emotions about this. I feel like I've shut down, I've closed the door to the bomb shelter and don't know how to open it back up.

Ugh!!!

[leanonme]

Hey guys, Ya something went wrong in this entry. I got the jest of it though.The rest of the blog is probably out in syber space somewhere.
Ann good luck tomorrow. No way around it ;this will be difficult. YOu have hopefully set yourself up for the best outcome you can. Will get your questions answered and plans set for this next chapter. My T often says to me that " You hold those closest to you in your heart forever and Always" Great advice i think AND easier said than believing.I guess with that said i wish you courage, strength , and peace at somepoint with this. Also i really hope you allow yourself to FEEL your feels upon this Farwell. I will be think of you. :)

[Laura]

I'll be thinking of you too Ann.

[leanonme]

IM WONDERING WHAT IT IS EVERYONE ELSE EXPERIENCES AS ' AN EMERGENCY? MY EMERGENCIES ARE LESS AND LESS BUT I STILL RECOGNIZE A 911 WHEN IT HAPPENDS.i GUESS I FEEL MORE CONFIDENT IN MY TOOLS BUT OFTEN CANT WARD THEM OFF COMPLETLY.THANK GOD FOR MY EVER PRESENT T.:) WHO WITHOUT I WOULD BE LOST.lET ME KNOW WHAT PUTS YOU OVER THE EDGE.THANKS

[abutterflyloves]

I have emotional emergencies more and more as I age. Only in my mid to late thirties, but with a child going off to college, my weight changes more than the stock market. I have gone up 10 sizes in the past year. I rarely leave the house if not for work.

I was asked to go to a bachelorette party this weekend to an interactive play. I didn't want to be seen in public, but my daughter is standing up in the wedding, and I didn't want her driving downtown Chicago. So I went.

The play was ok. There were no mirrors in the place, so I was fine. Fine until the next day when I found my horrid fat pictures plastered on my facebook page. I begged my sister in law to take it off. She did. I was a wreck for the next 8 hours. What were they thinking. I finally had the courage to go back and look, and his bride of honor posted one that was 100x's worse.

now I am a wreck

[Ann]

Well, I did it. I said goodbye. I wrote her a small letter, which helped me a little. I'm much better with words when I write them than when I try to speak them. Its just easier for me. Gina said she really like the card that it was the best thing I could have done for her. It was sad today, all I want to do is cry and I can't. A faculty member that works in my department at school, who I've gotten to know pretty well, lost her son last night in a car accident. This was her only son. So the office was a very sad place today. My dad told me later this evening that Zach, the boy that died, was my cousin. I've known Terri, Zach's mom, for two years and I never met her son. I heard lots of stories but never met him. I'm really upset about this. We're family and I never knew. I really enjoy spending time with Terri, I wish I could have gotten to know Zach before he died. This probably sounds stupid that I'm upset about losing a family member I never knew I had, but its really bothering me. Maybe its just because I lost the best therapist I've ever worked with and a cousin I'll never know in the same day. I'm struggling to find the desire/will/courage to turn down Ed's offers and stay true to myself and my voice. It'd be so easy right now to turn to Ed behaviors, but I know that will just make me feel worse and that's not what I want. I want to feel better, To feel good, happy, joyful, relaxed, to just be. I want things that I can't have too, like my T back. It's going to be three weeks before I can go see my new T, at least three weeks, more if she doesn't have appointments available. I know I should see this time as a time to grow, but I see it as a scary time. I'm afraid that I won't be strong enough on my own. That without my T to talk to, I'll turn to Ed and backslide. Gina believes in me so much, I just wish I believed as much as she does.
Ugh!!! This sucks!