There are different ways we trust and different levels of trust.

PTC, it sounds like you trust what your therapist says on a theoretical level- she's experienced, she's educated, for instance, and you intellectually believe what she tells you. On a practical level, however, you don't trust that what she says is true (that if you eat you won't get fat, for example). There can be a big difference between theoretical and practical levels.

Think of theoretical trust as residing in your head- it's an intellectual kind of trust. We can also trust with our psyches/emotional selves and our bodies/physical selves. In order to wholly, profoundly trust something, I think we can start with theoretical trust, but we also need to add in other levels too.

I tell my clients many, many things, and I'm certain what I say to them trustworthy. I spend most of my time helping them experiment for themselves with whatever it is we're talking about so they can see the evidence with their own eyes. Even if someone theoretically trusts what I'm saying, to translate it to a steady, enduring, deeply felt kind of trust, he/she needs to collect data herself to see if it illustrates that what I'm saying is indeed the truth. As she sees evidence for herself, she learns to believe it- and this is what establishes practical levels of trust.

There's nothing at all wrong with theoretical trust. And in some situations, that level of trust is quite sufficient for what we need. For other situations, we need more. PTC, my experience is that none of my clients truly trust the idea that they won't gain weight if they eat when it is presented to them. They may believe me (trust me) on a theoretical level- as in, "Wow, Johanna, that's an interesting fact." But until they try eating for themselves and don't gain weight, they will not believe it on a practical, meaningful level- a level where they can make use of the information for the long term. In this situation, the theoretical level of trust is not sufficient to be useful.

Comments

[PTC]

Well, I commented and then my computer crapped out on me and shut down. I hate this thing! That's beside the point.

It's hard to trust, or believe rather, when you try to eat like a "normal" person for just one meal and you gain weight. I know it's possible for some people but I don't think it works for me.

I had a thought today while I was laying out and thought "Who can I ask this to since my T is out of town for another 2 weeks?" (It's kind of nice having a therapy vacation. I think I realized that I don't need to go back). Here's my question. Do you think that anorexics and bulimics have different personality traits that initially lead them to be either one or the other? I know that some anorexics tend to develop bulimic behaviors after restricting for so long, but initially do you think that there is a reason why some people become anorexic rather than bulimic and vice versa?

[leanonme]

OK SO JOHANNA WHAT IS IT THAT GIVES US THE COURAGE TO TAKE THE RISK TO EXPERIENCE AND GATHER EVIDENCE FOR OURSELVES? wHAT IS IT THAT ALLOWS US TO MOVE FROM THEORETICAL TRUST TO PRACTICAL TRUST?
I GET FRUSTRATED WITH WHAT MY MIND KNOWS TO BE TRUE AND WHAT MY EMOTIONAL EXPERIENCE IS.iT IS SUCH A CHALLENGE TO TAKE THE RISK THAT BIGINS THE FOUNDATON OF PRACTICAL TRUST.
THANK YOU FOR YOUR INSIGHT AND FOR GUIDING US ALL TO FIND UNDERSTANDING AND STRENGTH IN OUR EXPERIENCE IN THIS BIG WORLD THAT I AT LEAST FIND SO FRIGHTENING AT TIMES.

[Ann]

It took me separating my thoughts from Ed's. I had gotten really bad and my T was really worried. It scared me a little. So, I took some time to just sit and I heard what Ed was saying in my head. I realized that what he was saying was nothing that I wanted. So, I made a list of what Ed was telling me and what I truly wanted. Reading what I actually wanted over and over again gave me that courage/strength/drive to take the risk to try what I'd been told and see for myself. I knew what I was doing was not working at all. A couple days later I had a meeting with my nutritionist, we made a meal plan. It took me almost a week or two to finally get to where I was consistently following it. But I did notice that after giving my body some nutrients and then going cycling I had so much energy it was awesome, I was able to ride longer and faster than the previous ride (where I hadn't fueled my body). That previous ride I rode slow and had to stop for 5 mins because I physically could not go any further.

I hope that made sense. I just wanted to share what helped me find the courage to experiment. Maybe try the list of what Ed wants for you and what you actually want. It might help.

[Laura]

A similar thing has happened for me recently. I've realized what I've been doing isn't working. (Other times I've realized this, but I think *maybe* it will work this time, though! For whatever reason, I've given up (recently) on my ways ever "working" anymore.) So giving up on my ways working combined with the recent realization about who I want to be. I've realized that that Who I Want to be doesn't do eating disordered things BUT ALSO isn't fat, lazy, unproductive, worthless - etc. Realizing that I can NOT do eating disordered things and also NOT be fat/lazy/stupid/etc, made me a lot more willing to try to be the person I actually want to be.