Lots of times people think they either "aren't having a life" or "won't get to have a life."

This is especially easy to think up and believe if/when we get caught up in perfectionistic thinking, because then we don't think we're having a life unless that life is the "end all be all" life (whatever that is!).

I vote we focus on ways we can have a life, as a 6 year old friend of mine says, "right here, right now!" (and it's extra good if you can say the phrase with lots of enthusiasm and emphasis, you know, the way an exuberant 6 year old would say it and mean it.).

Life is a work in progress. We are works in progress. There are lots of times we don't have the total exact life we ideally envision for ourselves. But that doesn't mean we aren't also "having a life" in some, or many, ways at the moment.

You know what's coming next... yep, a list... of the ways, big and small, huge and miniscule (even ridiculously miniscule counts and is good), that we are indeed having a life, right here, right now. As you work on your list (which can be a long term list- doesn't have to be completed at one sitting- for all you perfectionists out there...) focus on "small" and "the smaller the better" even. You may notice that you tend to dismiss or devalue ways you're already having a life, probably because they don't fit exactly into your vision of what having a life was "supposed to mean" or because they don't seem "grand" enough to count.

Try our favorite pastimes of being open-minded, flexible and scrupulously honest as you work on the list. Try to include ANYTHING you can imagine that seems, or even hints at, being part of having a life. As usual, feel free to share your thoughts and ideas... oh yeah, and ask questions about it if this is confusing or trips you up in any way.

Comments

[Super Egg]

whatever dude.

[leanonme]

I guess this is that GREY Area that you often talk about and is so challenging for us black and white thinkers? I think that if we are honest just even coming here , reaching out to others is even abit more of being in life than just being soley with our eating disorder. We that come here could at least start with that on our list.
I think it is so difficult in our society to not fall prey to"we have not suceeded until we are perfect, have Made it"!! per say. Im not articulating it very well but hopefully you know what i mean.
My list starts with:

I have more really valuable and rich relationships with some awsome people that understand and love me.

I have the ablility to Ask Questions i need to know.

I hold down a pretty cool job.

Lets see there are more i just cant come up with them all right now so hopefully this list will continue on and on .
Does anyone else have anything to add?I would be curious.

[Ann]

I sat outside last night for maybe a half hour with the dogs and just watched the lightening bugs light up the field. It was so awesome, the field looked like it had sparks flying up from it. While I was watching this, I thought man this is the life I'm living, I love it. I like how the little things can do so much for me.

I think a big one for me having a life is staying in the moment and being ALIVE in that moment. Life is so much more interesting this way.

Spending time with my nephews and nieces is a huge one on my list. The brighten my day every time they simply walk in the room. I love them so much.

Teaching, this lights a fire inside of me. I absolutely love to teach. There's nothing I want to do more than share my knowledge with others. I am so ALIVE when I'm in the classroom interacting with my students.

Which brings me to another one, interacting with others and not simply being around others. A lot of times when Ed is dominating my head I'm simply in a room with people physically, but not mentally. I have no clue what's being said or what's actually going on around me. However, when I can combat the Ed voice and stay tuned to ME then I can interact and enjoy others company.

This is just a few for me, I think I could go on for awhile. There are so many awesome things to life, the bummer thing is that when Ed has us trapped we don't see many if any of those awesome things!