Here's something people have found helpful when they are try to achieve a specific goal, and maybe, Ari, you'll read this before you leave for your vacation and can make some use of it.

People often come up with particular things they want to try (not purging for a certain amount of time, running a specific amount of time or mileage, eating a certain food...). It's easy to get very focused (and perfectionistic) on the goal itself, to the exclusion of the things that can help us get there. 

I like to have people make a list (again, I know you all are shocked!) of the things they know help them move towards the goal. The list doesn't include the goal itself- because it's understood that if someone does the things on her list the goal generally follows.

Think of it this way. Say I make a goal to not fall over from lack of oxygen all day today. If my only focus is on the narrow idea of "not falling over from lack of oxygen" I'll probably fall over from lack of oxygen. I need to focus on what makes not falling over from lack of oxygen possible: breathing. If I spend my day today focusing on breathing adequately and regularly I'll probably not fall over from lack of oxygen. In this case, my list would include one basic thing: breathing.

If we use Ari's goal of not purging the list might include things like: eating consistently, not letting herself get too hungry, eating mostly "safe" foods while on vacation, finding enough alone or "down" time, staying in connection with friends back at home, getting enough rest/sleep, having enough structure in terms of meal-times... these kinds of things tend to help people not purge. The real goal for Ari would be to focus on doing the things on her list, as opposed to spending time on the goal of "not purging" itself.

Comments

[Laura]

This is a smart concept that I can apply to lots of things - ED related and not.

[Ann]

So, I feel like I'm on a roller coaster right now. Everything seems so out of whack. I've tried relaxing but it's not helping. Second summer session started yesterday. Which means that I'm now teaching two labs and taking a grad chemistry course too. I also work a second job at a hobby shop. My boss left on vacation last friday and will be gone all of this week, so I've got more responsibilities this week and it's impossible to be two places at once. So this is really stressing me out. I feel like I really need to be at the hobby shop making sure everything is going well, but I have to be at school because I teach today and I have to prepare for Thursday's lab and I have Chem lab today too! ARGHH!! I enjoy everything I do, I just feel like I've spread myself too thin and at any moment I could break in two.

[Ann]

I guess this just means I need to read, reread and reread and really try to think about this week's bumper sticker "stay in the moment". This is so hard right now. But that's my goal for the day.

[Laura]

Good goal, Ann. You can do it! You can only do what you can reasonably do in any given moment.