Here are a couple of things to think about: pain, boredom, frustration and stagnation are serious motivators to change.

Leanonme, lots of times it's these kinds of things that prompt us to make changes, provide us the energy to make a move. 

We tend to romanticize the idea of making a decision to change. In the movies it often happens as a BIG, GRAND moment, when someone has a HUGE realization and a lightbulb goes on (along with soaring music and sunlight streaming in the window) and suddenly it's just perfectly clear what they need to do next to fix all their problems! In real life, it's more often a more gradual process of getting frustrated with how things are going, thinking about what we might be able to do differently, considering trying something different, becoming wary of change, going back to what's familiar.... and repeating this sequence over and over a bunch of times. 

As long as the sequence is tolerable (I'm not saying it's fun, or easy, or that we even think it's a good idea to be doing) we usually persist in it. But if certain changes happen in the sequence (for instance, if the "getting frustrated" part increases significantly) we may become more compelled to make a change instead of returning to what is familiar.

 Courage comes in, not as a motivator, but as the character trait we use to push ahead despite our fear of what may lie ahead.

Comments

[Super Egg]

i am always amazed at the courage other people have. and when someone has said that i have courage, it never really feels like that. it's more like i have the ability to "withstand" more than the average joe, and that is not the same thing at all.

[wendy]

One of the things that helped me realize I needed to be willing to take risks to get healthy was watching my children play video games! I would play a game and lose and try over and over and over doing everything the same thinking it would work. I watched my kids play and they tried something once and if it did not work they would go a totally different direction and try something new, even if it at first did not seem the rational thing to do. I realized that was what I did with ED. I do the ssame thing over and over think I would feel better and then ended up not...then when tried to recover on my own without help I would fail every single time, but resolve to try again the next day. It was not until I was in therapy and working with a dietician that I actually got better. Cause they would make suggestions I would never think of as I was so set to try my way again.

[leanonme]

Thank you Johanna.
I think i understand but im not quite sure. I need to sit with this differenciation between the two types of trust and maybe discuss it more with my T. Somehow i feel afraid. Of what im not sure but i think i will let it go for right now before my anxiety continues to spiral.:(

[Laura]

Good way of putting it Johanna. I think my experiences are in line with your description of change. And change happens not in a linear fashion either.

You sit (uncomfortably but TOLERABLY) stagnant, considering change. Pain (or something negatively experienced) increases and you are motivated to change. But that doesn't carry you to the end. You make a "growth spurt of change" (growth spurt is what my therapist calls it) and then you level off... and then you go backwards a little bit.....and then you wait.... and then another growth spurt comes.... but you're not done... you level off.... then you go back a little... then you wait... and then another growth spurt.

It's the "going backwards a little bit" that is so hard for me. It's like "What?! but I was just doing better! What is happening!" If I think about it, these little "slips" are necessary becuase they provide more pain/negative experience which acts as another little motivator to get another growth spurt of change.

That's how I've experienced this process at least.

[Ann]

Laura I like the way you put that. I feel like that's exactly what I go through. Right now I feel like the cycle is on overdrive. I'm running in and out of each phase like its a race. Its very draining. I had a semi long slip, then a rather quick growth spurt a very fast leveling off period and then another slip, I'm hoping the growth spurt comes again very soon, cause that's when my life is the most enjoyable.

So, Johanna does FULL RECOVERY mean no more cycle? Just the growth spurt and then a level off? I mean I know I can & will always have room to grow, but as far as the eating disorder stuff goes.

I don't know maybe that doesn't make any sense. I'm exhausted. I don't know how much more I can take, I feel like I could collapse at any moment.