Laura, the answer to what you ask depends in part on who you ask.

There are people who might say one doesn't need to go back to search for meaning of behaviors, just to change the behaviors in the here and now. There are others who'd be certain that behaviors would never resolve unless one found the exact reason the behavior started in the first place... and then there might be every view in between.

I'm an in between and all-over the map kind of girl. It seems to me that how deep to search, how important it is to be archeological about an eating disorder, depends on each individual and his/her situation.

I have indeed seen it possible (especially in eating disorders that are in younger people and/or haven't been around that long in someone's life) to really resolve the symptoms/behaviors by addressing them directly (almost as if they are habits that need rearranging) and not looking for predisposing factors. When that's possible, I'm a huge fan: less wear and tear on the sufferer, less time in treatment...

In general, though, what I've found to be most true is in line with a statement by the father of Jungian psychological thought, Carl Jung (the dude lived quite awhile ago and had some really interesting things to say- whole schools of psychological thought are based on his work). He said that if we don't "make the unconscious conscious, it manifests itself as fate."

What the heck does that mean??? It means (and no fair for any serious Jungians to get on my case for paraphrasing here... I'm not a hard-core, well-educated Jungian!) that unless we work to understand how we are built psychologically/emotionally we will remain largely unconscious of what motivates us to do things, what drives us to act in certain ways, etc. 

"So what?" someone might say, and I can at times see why they'd hold that view. But, the problem is, and this is what Jung was getting at, what stays unconscious in us doesn't always stay "nicely or politely" buried deep within our psyche- it often bubbles up, often in seemingly unrelated ways, that can often be damaging and/or confusing to us, and can seem very random and out of the blue.

As an example, if you have, say, a girl who hasn't ever been able to tolerate or express her emotions- works hard to keep them at bay (keep them unconscious)- eventually this is going to take a toll on her. One possibility? Voila! Symptoms of an eating disorder, a distorted, potentially damaging "bubbling up" of her unconscious.

So, do we have to delve down into ourselves to search for meaning? I don't know (well, not totally true- any of you who've read my blog for the past year or so know pretty much where I stand on this issue!)- it's largely a personal decision. It's a great topic for discussion, to have with ourselves or with others; to really explore what we want in terms of being "archeological" and searching for meaning in the behaviors.

And just to be crystal clear here- there's no "right" or "wrong" answer, no way to be perfectionistic about this one folks. People really, truly get to decide for themselves. I've had people choose for themselves a path I didn't agree with (either not exploring when I felt it was the best course of action, or wanting to deeply explore when I believed doing so was not at all in their best interest), and I must, and do, respect their decision. My interest, as usual, is in the exploration and discussion of the various paths available and the making of an informed and educated decision.

By the way, Laura, it sounds like you do have ideas about how and why the ED developed. It sounds like you have been engaged in the process of delving into yourself. And you may be correct, that you've kind of done enough of that, maybe at least for now. 

Comments

[leanonme]

Just one point of view.
I personally have found it extreemly hellpful to seek out and acknowlege the root causes of my self punishment and negative behaviors.Without this just as Johanna has stated it would feel very random and continue my feelings of being out of control. With acknowleging what was real when i was young there is something tangible; taking away some of the blame. Also i think if i had;nt had an explaination i would have felt as if i was only going crazy; only feeding into how already BAD I thought i was. I do think that perhaps the longer the behaviors have existed the more deeply intrenched one becomes in a state of behaving our way to explaination. ( If that makes any sence)Anyhow just some thoughts.
Secondly i do have to acknowllege how extreemy grateful i am to my amazing "T " who has helped me grow,face,accept and move forward through this difficult disease.I do think i am learning to love for the first time in my life.

Runforjoy: I just want to say i am facing having to accept the realities of a relationship i long could be different this coming week. It is soo.... painful to realize things cant be different. Unlike my relationship with my mother i spoke about in the last post this is far more challenging. SAD......:( anyhow your not alone and its all still a work in progress.

[Super Egg]

i love it when johanna says "dude"

[Laura]

Thank you for the explanation, Johanna. It seems like it would be worth it for me to continue to explore the reasons why the eating disorder and the eating disorder mentality exists. I've went through a few flirtations with an eating disorder (very brief) in my early teens, and have had an eating disorder for the last 7 years. That's what people say, but I kind of feel like it's not that bad. I have an ED now (supposedly) but life gets lived and I'm not about to die and I don't feel like it controls my life to the extent it has in the past...

Every time I just try to ignore the ED and not think about it in hopes it will just disappear, it just gets worse. This always happens. Whenever I tell my nutritionist that I'm just going to decide to not care and I'm not going to think about it anymore, she always responds, "You've tried that approach multiple times before." True....

I frequently become seemingly instantly in denial about the actual existence of an eating disorder.

This post is making me want to sit down with pen and paper and figure out 1) why it is that people tell me I have one (why do I talk to 2 people weekly about this again? Is this real?) and 2) why it is I feel a need to have my food/exercise a certain way? 3) why those beliefs developed.

Now I'm all confused - in a good way

I don't know but now this is making me think...I just feel like the whole thinking about the "where did those beliefs come from" thing is so aimless... I guess I just see it as tedious and I don't see immediate pay offs and that's why I get annoyed at the process. But you've left me intrigued... so I might be more open to it now.

[PTC]

Wow, there's a lot to process in that one.