Why She Feels Fat by Johanna Marie McShane

Hannah, when you wrote that you were waiting for your therapist to call and you were having thoughts that maybe she didn't care about you enough to call, I was reminded of a concept I call "out of sight, out of mind syndrome."

Courtney, ok, so you made a bit of a leap... but, i bet many, many people who have eating disorders instantly understood that leap.

Choice and related ideas come up a lot when I'm working with people. It occurred to me last night that we should be careful when we talk about choice not to set up a false black and white thing: that there are two options, either we 100% make a choice/decision or someone else 100% makes the decision. I could see how we could accidentally fall into thinking about it like that :) which wouldn't help us a bit.

Hannah, you came across a crucial piece of information when you realized it was your choice whether to restrict or not. Personal choice makes such a difference.

Sighing, complaining, ranting and raving, stomping of feet.. it's all allowed as part of the process of work on ourselves. 

This recovery work demands pacing, which includes allowing ourselves the whole range of thoughts and feelings about the process.

I meant it about this being simple. I also meant it about it being difficult. I've said it before and it bears repeating- maybe lots of times- recovery is often the most difficult thing someone does in his/her life. I also of course want to make it clear that all the work is worth the effort. 

You all have my deepest respect for your continuing and sincere effort.

It's normal to kind of "yo-yo" around between clarity, being under the spell of the eating disorder, and other states. 

This kind of going back and forth is part of the process of recovery (particularly early recovery)- which we know is not linear.

Ideally, as someone progress in his/her work, the periods of clarity become more frequent and stay around longer.

 

OK, so Todd's comment warrants a Bumper Sticker of The Week, even though we've already had one this week: Celebrate Life

Such good advice. It's amazing how fast life (physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually... you name it) gets sucked away by an eating disorder (ironic, isn't it, since the disorder is, in its own way, trying to help us deal with and survive life).

So sorry to hear about your friend, and for your loss Todd. 

The thing about human beings, SuperEgg, is that no matter what our experience, we share certain basic things- common feelings, desires, hopes, dreams.

Early recovery is such a tricky time. I was talking to a new client today who is currently so under the spell of the eating disorder that she can't accept help from her family or from anyone else who tries to offer assistance.

Sheesh, the information age... I was looking forward to posting to the blog last night after work and then I got home to find that my internet was down. Frustrating. And just a little reminder to myself about staying flexible...