What does it mean to "show up and tell the truth?"

I've been thinking about that since I wrote the sentence in a post a few days ago. I was reminded about a conversation I had a several years ago with a very gifted artist. I was complaining that I had zero artistic talent, which I considered a bummer, since I'd love to be able to draw (other then rudimentary stick figures- well, I can sometimes do a pretty Squidward, but that's about it).

This person said I was being ridiculous and that anyone could be taught to draw. She said there were three crucial aspects to this teaching process (I have to confess now that I can't remember the third one- but in my own defense, it was because I was so impressed by the first two that I became preoccupied by their power and relevance that I lost track of the last point).

The first is this: the artist must be scrupulously honest about what she sees. She cannot pretend she sees something that is not there, or alter what she believes sees simply because she is disappointed by what is there.

The second is this: the artist must draw exactly what she sees.

Wow. Scrupulously honest.

I thought about what that meant (and got a tiny glimpse into how I might improve my drawing ability, despite my lack of natural talent). It can be really, really hard to be that honest.

There are two arenas in which we have the opportunity to be that honest- with others and with ourselves. Since the discussion with my artist friend, I've concentrated on being scrupulously honest, especially with myself. It isn't always easy- sometimes I want things to be different than they really are.

To help clients get used to this level of honesty we separate things into two steps. First, he/she practices (develops endurance for) honesty with herself. Second, she decides what she wants to do with what she knows to be true.

Sometimes it's important to share her views with someone else (at work, school, in relationships, etc); other times the crucial thing is for her to know what's true inside herself and leave it at that.

It seems to me that as long as we are able to articulate to ourselves what is true for us, and hold onto that truth, we are in pretty good shape.

I may never draw anything beyond a mediocre squid, but I've gotten a lot of mileage out of making a practice of being scrupulously honest with myself.

Comments

[Cassandra]

Hm, interesting how art lessons tie in so much with eating disorders. Are anorexics really lying to themselves because they don't see what other people see in the mirror? I know, from experience as being an anorexic, that it really doesn't feel like I'm being untruthful to myself when I look in the mirror. No matter what size I am, I see "fat", and that's just my reality. How can I really know what truth is if I can't see it for myself?