A couple of years ago a mom and dad came to consult with me about their teenage daughter. They were confused about a statement she had made to them.

A couple of years ago a mom and dad came to consult with me about their teenage daughter. They were confused about something she'd said to them.

A few days before, she had remarked, "God help whoever stands between me and the fridge when I'm going to binge. I'll kill them."

The parents wanted to know: Is she kidding? Are we in danger? Should we take her seriously? Is she in danger? Why can't she just stop herself from bingeing? What can we do to help? Should we put ourselves between her and the fridge?

I said that while I didn't at all believe their child was going to kill anyone, her statement was an accurate reflection of the intensity of emotion she felt right before she begins to binge. What they should take seriously was the desperation she experienced as a result of those emotions and her need to do something (and quickly) to relieve herself of that desperation.

Once a person is in the state of mind where bingeing makes sense to her, it is extremely hard to stop herself from eating, and this has nothing to do with willpower, discipline or strength. It's a bit like like a freight train barreling down the track- there isn't much chance of it being able to stop suddenly once it has reached full speed.

One of the goals of recovery is to help someone avoid getting the train up to such fast speed in the first place- in other words, to help her learn to better deal with her emotions so they don't feel overwhelming and make her desperate for a way to rid herself of those feelings.