In Memoriam - Erin Bjorklund (1987- 2008)

Please allow me to return next time to our discussion of Intuitive eating and the non-diet approach...

Today, it is with great regret that I write about the loss of Erin Bjorklund, a young, vibrant woman, whose life ended too soon.

She is, unfortunately and tragically, among the many lives that was not spared the destruction and devastaion of an eating disorder.

As 2008 nears its end, it is my wish that next year, we will see the end of the epidemic of eating disorders.

My sincere wishes to all of you for a Holiday Season and New Year filled with health and well-being.

(To view Tributes to Erin, click here - allow time for the full page to load-  and another tribute here)

Who was Erin? (this tribute was written by Erin's aunt, Lynn Bjorklund)

Erin was a beloved daughter, sister, niece, aunt, granddaughter and friend.  She had gorgeous strawberry blond hair and a chicken pox scar on her nose that she loved.  She was the strong willed child with a brilliant and creative mind.  She was vivacious, fun loving, and determined.  She was, in many ways, typical of any of the young women attending college today, about to graduate and launch off into the world on her own.  But she never made it.

Erin’s life came to a tragic end at 11:30 pm on Oct 3, 2008 when a 64 car freight train slammed into her body.  She was 21 years old and 3 months away from graduating at Northern Arizona University. She was a stunningly beautiful, brilliant, and vibrant young lady full of fun and potential.  Mathematics and computer technology came easily to her.  Like many young women she dealt with insecurities, low self esteem, and lack of confidence.  She had survived three major traffic accidents in her teenage years, the last one taking the life of her best friend, who had been her passenger. 

“What a hard thing to deal with,” we thought.  “How is she ever going to be able to process it all!” 

Erin dealt with it as she had with all the other turbulent teenage emotions that were getting out of hand.  She buried it deep inside and worried about her weight and what she should eat or not eat.   She got involved in binge drinking, compulsive spending, and bulimia.  She got angry with her mother and grandparents.  With all of this going on she was to graduate with honors, preparing to be a lawyer, performing brilliantly at her job, and was a wonderful friend to those who knew her.  Her parents and family worried about her; the drinking and eating binges, the bulimia, and the irresponsible spending.  She was offered counseling numerous times, but refused it all.  She wasn’t ready to take away the compulsions and face all that was underneath. 

Few people really understood what was going on with Erin.  On the surface she was functioning beautifully, managing well in school, holding down jobs, and apparently enjoying her new start in life as an adult.  Her family could see the signs of her deeper struggle, coming out in the form of difficult and self destructive behaviors.  She pushed away all efforts of support and help, bringing out feelings of frustration, and even disgust, in those who cared about her.  She often succeed in pushing people away, leaving her to try to work through it all herself.  But she wasn’t ready to work through it.  She couldn’t yet see that there was a better way to live.  Yes, actually live, rather than fill the moments with drama, crises, and obsessions to avoid the confusion, self hate, and turmoil within. 

There is a tendency for those of us who loved Erin to try to a make sense of it all, to understand why this young life was snuffed out so prematurely and suddenly before she could reach her full potential.  Accidents, tragedies and loss happen every day to people all around the world.  When it happens to someone close to you, it all seems so unfair and unreal.  The world goes on and you want to shout out to everyone that something very precious and unique has just been removed from our universe.  You want people to understand the magnitude and extent of this life.  You wish for people to be impacted by this beautiful spirit, even now in her death, as we continue to remember, celebrate, and honor her life.

What was going on that night on the railroad tracks where she didn’t notice a 64 car freight train bearing down on her?  There was all the background noise of life going on, a busy freeway next to the tracks and perhaps all sorts of thoughts going through her head.  If she had known that she only had about 18 hours to live when she got up that morning, I wonder how her thoughts and priorities may have been different.  Would she worry about the size of her thighs, how many calories she had the day before, or how she would starve or stuff herself today?  Would all the problems and concerns that she tried to keep buried really seem as frightening?  If she could talk to us now, what would be the message she would most want us to know?

Many of us may be symbolically sitting on a track with a 64 car freight train bearing down on us. We are so engrossed in self judgment, denial, stresses of the moment, or various addictions that we don’t notice the 64 car freight train bearing down on us any better than Erin did.  Our 64 car freight train could be some other tragic accident that happens because we aren’t able to really live in the present and take notice of our lives and what is happening around us right now.  That freight train could be the consequences of an addiction like an eating disorder, alcoholism, drug addiction, or a hundred other ways we use to self destruct and avoid really living in the moment. 

None of us get out of this life alive and it is not something that is pleasant to dwell on.  However, I think Erin would tell us now, if she could, to take a moment to recognize and appreciate this life that you have and the amazing body that you have been given.  You have the choice to love it and appreciate it right now with full joy and gratitude.  You can choose to enjoy and love this gift of life that you have been given and the limitless opportunities that are set before you just by being alive.  Or you can choose to live in the past or future and feel miserable.  There is no end to the mind tapes you can listen to.  There is the “if only” and the “what if” series and the “Life will be good when….” series.   You can spend your time listening to those, but in the meantime you may be missing out on your life as it is happening around you right now.  What if you could arrive at “thin enough or good enough?”  You will likely find that you can still be miserable and that the fears that were masked in the frantic journey to get there are still within.  Then what?

You still have the choice. You can step off the railroad tracks right now and not wait for the 64 car freight train to blow your life away.  You can face the demons within you, you can find yourself, learn to trust and love yourself, and overcome addictions.  You can celebrate this moment, this precious life you have been given, and enjoy it and appreciate it.  If you can do that, even just some of the time, that love and gratitude will spill over and greatly bless all who know you. 

I think I know what Erin would recommend.

Comments

[max tn]

Do as you would be done by.*

[GHD Straightener]

waaa you r soooo cool

[Monster Beats]

Thank you, teacher. Admonish your friends privately, but praise them openly. You are the best!!*_*

[Cheap Jordan Shoes]

The words you need by the people you admire, such as the: Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved. College isn't the place to go for ideas. Death is no more than passing from one room into another. But there's a difference for me, you know. Because in that other room I shall be able to see. Everything has its wonders, even darkness and silence, and I learn, whatever state I may be in, therein to be content. Faith is the strength by which a shattered world shall emerge into the light.

[Air Jordan Classic 87]

graduate school, as if she hasn't learned by now that

[MBT Sandals]

It's so nice to have you do all of the research for us. It makes our decision making so much easier!! Thanks.

[stream movies for free online]

RIP Erin

[Air Jordan Shoes]

Wise man have their mouths in their hearts, fools have their hearts in their mouths.