"Being able to say that one is a survivor is an accomplishment. For many, the power is in the name itself. And yet comes a time in the individuation process when the threat or trauma is significantly past. Then is the time to go to the next stage after survivorship, to healing and thriving. ... One can take so much pride in being a survivor that it becomes a hazard to further creative development. ... Once the threat is past, there is a potential trap in calling ourselves by names taken on during the most terrible time of our lives. It creates a mind-set that is potentially limiting. It is not good to base the soul identity solely on the feats and losses and victories of the bad times."
Women Who Run with the Wolves
This quote calls to mind the need in our society to name things as a means of quantifying or qualifying them. People derive their identities from this naming process, for better of for worse. With eating disorders, people quickly become categorized by their illness or their behaviors. This adds another layer to the eating disorder problem – people deriving their identity from their eating disorder. A person becomes known as the anorexic or the bulimic or the thin one or the exerciser. If someone has tied their identity to these labels it makes it difficult to let go of the eating disorder for fear of who they will be without it. For this reason, in my practice I say that someone has anorexia or bulimia not that they are anorexic or bulimic. I want to extricate the disorder from the person. It is a part of the person but not the entire person. I want clients to identify with other things, to find healthier attachments.
I work
with clients to help them discover and reclaim parts of themselves that have
been buried under the eating disorder. When this happens they can then
strengthen these parts thus forming an identity based on health rather than
sickness, on truth rather than fear. This is an integral part of healing,
letting go of the eating disorder distinction and choosing self-acceptance.
Very well said. All a person needs is the extra shame and stigma that comes from being labelled. Appreciate your thoughts.
Posted by: CEDRIC centre | June 24, 2009 at 08:08 AM
This is very true I think. Just as the ED becomes an identity, so can to mindset that one is a survivor -- this can be limiting and although I am not recovered, I can appreciate that it would be easy to define oneself in this manner.
Thank you for your post. It resonates with me
Posted by: A:) | July 02, 2009 at 06:58 PM