Recovered.® by Jenni Schaefer

What do YOU believe?

A big part of being recovered for me has meant finding my voice. I have learned how to speak my truth, express my beliefs --- in a healthy way (without being codependent, without hurting myself). Of course, I don’t do this perfectly, but I do my best.

A newspaper reporter contacted me today and asked what I thought about the recent media attention given to Jessica Simpson about her body at a recent chili cook-off event in Florida. She has been scrutinized for not appearing rail-thin.

I find it appalling that our country continues to focus energy and attention on something like the size and shape of one young woman’s body (and a beautiful one at that). I agree with Jessica’s sister, Ashlee Simpson-Wentz: we should be focusing on things that really matter.

What do you believe?

Love ya,
Jenni

Tune in to a Radio Show

I want to share a radio show with you that I did last week. The show is Communication360 with Philip and Lisa Mulford. Unlike some folks out there, Philip and Lisa really "get" eating disorders. I think they bring to light some really important information in our show. You might want to share this link with friends and family members. As always, if you have any comments, please post them!

Love,
Jenni

Let's stay connected

Thanks for all of the comments. Keep them coming. You guys are great!

I know from experience that we can learn a lot from each another. Many of the women in my eating disorder therapy group years ago were good role models for how to have fun. While I never quite jumped in back then, I did hold onto the inspiration they gave me. And now, I can truly say that fun is a regular and required part of my life. Over the weekend, I went out to eat with friends. (Yes, I consider this fun.) I went hiking. And --- since Ed and I are officially over --- I even had a real date. All fun!

I continue to be amazed by how much my life has changed with Ed no longer around. Don’t get me wrong. My life is not all fun and games, but today, I can deal with life on life’s terms. As a recovered person, I feel my feelings, and sometimes they don’t feel wonderful. But at least, I feel them. And that is wonderful. Another wonderful thing is that I don’t have to fear feelings and run to Ed for help. Feelings do pass in time --- if we experience them. (I used to not believe this, but it is true.)

Yesterday, I felt a little sad about normal thirty-something-single-woman stuff. So I felt it. And then I called a friend, and we went hiking. By the end of the hike, my spirits were lifted. Connecting with others is always helpful to me. That is one reason I love the idea of blogging. We can all stay connected. So let’s do just that!

Love ya,

Jenni

I can have fun, now!

Happy Friday! I hope you have a fun weekend. I have lots of fun things planned, which is still somewhat strange for me. When Ed and I were still together, fun was not allowed. In my life today, fun is required.

Everything in my life is changed for the better, not just food and weight stuff. That is what I mean when I say “fully recovered” --- leaving Ed behind AND finding joy and peace in life. At first, I thought recovered just meant leaving Ed behind, but I was so wrong about that! Recovered is about much, much more.

If you do anything especially interesting or fun over the weekend, please post and let us know. In eating disorder recovery, it always helped for me to hear about how others were enjoying their lives. Seeing other people have fun helped me to learn how to do it myself.

Oh, and thanks for the GREAT comments to my last post. Let’s all keep being perfectly imperfect.

Love,
Jenni

I'm Back!

Sorry for disappearing for a while. I was finishing up writing my new book! I am so excited about it and can’t wait for you to read it. The book is called Goodbye Ed, Hello Me: Recover from your Eating Disorder and Fall in Love with Life (to be released by McGraw-Hill in September 2009). Goodbye Ed, Hello Me is all about being fully recovered --- leaving Ed behind and finding yourself. It is about truly living!

One part of the book is all about perfectionism. In writing this part, I began to realize that I was being a little too, well, perfectionistic. (Recovering from perfectionism is about progress, not perfection!) I realized that trying to get everything exactly right was slowing me down. In order to finish the book, I had to let go and accept perfectly imperfect.

That got me to thinking about this blog. Sometimes I think perfectionism keeps me from blogging. I will think that I don’t have just the right message, so I just won’t say anything. But I know you don’t care if something I have to say is less than or far from perfect. That said, I am going to try to blog more frequently and much more imperfectly. Please post more comments as well --- even if they are not so perfect.

Let’s all practice letting go a little!

Love,
Jenni