I love working with high school students. Their compassion and desire to help others is always a joy to witness. A few days ago I received an email from one of our Body Positive Peer Leaders. She's a sophomore in High School whom I'll call Jane.
Jane wrote to thank me for the "amazing year" she had working as a Peer Leader in our Body Image Groups. She continued,
I have to say I have learned more about the meaning of life, myself and the world through this program than through anything else. Thank you for giving me the opportunity. You have inspired me to go out there and spread the message that everyone needs to hear. I have found myself thinking differently about conversations that seem harmless to everyone else involved.
These words are music to my ears. It is one thing to teach the lessons...it's quite another to have them not only learned but applied in every day life.
I have a friend who recently revealed to me that she had some plastic surgery. I assumed there must have been a medical reason but that was not the case. I discovered that I'd also assumed my friend was as convinced as I that as we age our wisdom and love of self brings a brilliance to our countenance that plastic surgery could never match. That, too, was not the case.
I know that "we cannot change anyone but ourselves." Yet, there is that ever hopeful part of me that is sure that once people hear how damaging the self-bashing is to them and all those around them that they'll "just stop." A pretty simplistic and unrealistic view of the change process.
In Jane's email she shared how she'd had an opportunity to actually share her learnings with an adult outside of high school. She was at work at a spa and overheard a hairdresser and client talking. The client was saying how good she was feeling and how much healthier she was. Jane thought to herself, "Oh good. She's talking positively about herself. Good for her."
Sadly, this was but a brief thought for Jane. She described what happened next:
Then the conversation took a bad turn as the client explained that she was working with a fitness lady who had told her [which foods] she needed to cut out of her diet in order to get the body she wanted and to be "healthy." [The client] continued to explain that she consumes only [an extremely small amount of] calories a day. I just thought to myself, "This is exactly what Doris is trying to prevent. People don't realize that slim isn't always healthy."
Jane told me of the conversation she later had with the hairdresser. She spent time explaining to her what she does as a Body Image Peer Leader. Jane stated, "I think by doing so I made her think twice about the conversation she had just had." Sometimes we adults can hear things from youth that we may not be able to hear from a peer. I hope Jane is right.
Blessings until next time,
Doris
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