Ways to help our young children with body woes

Last week I received the following comment on one of my blogs:

I am reading all of this in great fear. My beautiful 8 year old daughter is beginning to see herself as "fat", she only wants to sit and eat. I have not wanted to face the fact she may be started down the road of an eating disorder. But I think I may have to acknowledge this. Are there resources for a child this young? Thank you for having the courage to tell your story.

This question prompted me to do a bit of research on the web.  I was reminded of a number of phenomenal resources for moms worried about how their very young daughters and sons feel about their bodies.

There is a wonderful book out there that helps us with this task, Full Mouse, Empty Mouse: A Tale of Food and Feelings by Dina Zeckhausen (available through Gurze at http://www.gurze.com/productdetails.cfm?PC=1535 –there is also a curriculum for teachers and parents of children in grades k-3 titled “Love Your Body Week” http://www.gurze.com/productdetails.cfm?PC=1260.

Full Mouse, Empty Mouse can open a valuable dialog with all children, especially in today’s thin-addicted culture.  The final pages of the book contain a “Note to Parents” that provides excellent suggestions.  Best thing, though, are the discussion questions that follow that can help guide us through our talk with our child.

In addition to writing this terrific resource, Dr. Dina Zeckhausen is the founder and executive director of The Eating Disorders Information Network (http://www.myedin.org/Home.html).  This site provides a wealth of information for parents, especially for parents of young girls. I would check out their M.O.D. Squad (M.oms O.f D.aughters) pages, especially their seven principals.

Another wonderful resource for moms of young daughters is The Body Positive (http://www.thebodypositive.org/) ) lots of great information there.

Let us not forget fathers in this equation.  Thankfully there is an organization devoted just to dads: Dads and Daughters created by Joe Kelly (http://www.dadsanddaughters.org/home/index.html) New Moon Magazine is another terrific resource (https://www.newmoon.org/specialoffer/?source=GOOGLE) and speaking of media, we must educate ourselves to the messages we and our children are bombarded with daily.  A great place to begin that education is with Dr. Peter DeBenedittis’ article “Seven Progressive Steps to Protect Children from the Harmful Effects of Media” at http://medialiteracy.net/pdfs/7_Steps_Parenting_Around_Media.pdf

I could go on and on but this list of resources can help us get started on the path of helping our young children feel good about themselves.  The first step though if we are ever concerned about specific behaviors in our children, especially unexplained weight gain or loss is to have them evaluated by a physician who is savvy in the arena of eating problems—not an easy thing to find but worth the search.  Ill-placed comments from ill-informed doctors can trigger the path we are hoping to avoid.

Parenting is tough.  Teaching ourselves how to do a “good enough” job at it takes time we may feel we just do not have.  As a parent what I’ve found in the area of positive body image is if I don’t put the time in now to learn what I need to learn, I’ll be putting the time in later when my child may be in crisis and I am attempting to “catch up.”  When it comes to positive self-esteem and learning how to focus on health not weight, it is never too early to start.

Blessings until next time,

Doris

Comments

[dina zeckhausen]

Hey Moms,
It's Dina Zeckhausen, author of Full Mouse, Empty Mouse.... Thanks so much for the kind words about the book! I wanted to let the mom know who has struggled with bulimia that I wrote a workbook for Moms Of Daughters called The M.O.D Squad Workbook... it is based on seven principles for raising healthy girls, and has great suggestions for ways to help your daughter AVOID the problems associated with eating disorders. Please go to www.MYEDIN.org to learn more about it, or e-mail me at psycinfo@Mindspring.com and I can tell you more!

[Crimson Wife]

Does anybody have any recommendations for moms who are themselves struggling with body image & eating issues? Although it's been 15 years since I overcame bulimia, I still find it challenging to set a good example for my 6 year old daughter.

It's particular difficult when I'm post-partum and trying to lose the pregnancy weight in a healthy way. When my 2nd was born, my DD was too young to be aware but I'm due with #3 in January. I'm really worried because she's now at an age where she might pick up on any negative messages I might send out :-(

[Camille Accarino]

Just reading this brings me back to all the small little signs that I saw for the last three years with my 15 year old daughter that has an ED. Take her comments now and reach out to as many people as you can for support. It is a painful experience when you are truly living it with your daughter.