Advice for Parents by Doris Smeltzer

“Heal thyself first”

Because we run a non-profit we are always in need of skilled volunteers to help our organization attain its goals.  I often receive emails from those who are somewhere along the “healing continuum” who desperately want to give back to the world in a meaningful way.  I applaud their courage.

The concern I have in these instances is the amount of time away from ED behaviors and disruptive thoughts.  So often those who suffer with an eating disorder tend to put others before self.  It can be difficult for them to comprehend that focusing on healing is not selfish nor does it lack great value.

What is it…??

In a conversation with my husband the other night I asked him the names of his elementary school teachers and what he most remembered about them.  He did far better than I, recalling all but his third grade teacher.  When it was my turn I was struck not so much by my inability to name as many of my teacher’s as he but by the one memory that instantly popped into my head.  My first grade teacher (whose name I DID recall) continually made derogatory comments about her body.  Once she remarked to another staff member as she came out to collect us from the playground, “I’m as big as a barn!”  Her comment puzzled me.  My grandfather had run a dairy farm…I knew how large a barn was.  This teacher was tall but she certainly did not come close to being the size of a barn.

Ways to help our young children with body woes

Last week I received the following comment on one of my blogs:

I am reading all of this in great fear. My beautiful 8 year old daughter is beginning to see herself as "fat", she only wants to sit and eat. I have not wanted to face the fact she may be started down the road of an eating disorder. But I think I may have to acknowledge this. Are there resources for a child this young? Thank you for having the courage to tell your story.

This question prompted me to do a bit of research on the web.  I was reminded of a number of phenomenal resources for moms worried about how their very young daughters and sons feel about their bodies.