A few weeks ago I interviewed Jessica Weiner on my radio show Savor Yourself…beyond skin deep. Jess is an Author, Self-Esteem Expert, and Advice Columnist as well as the global ambassador for the Dove Self-Esteem Fund (http://www.campaignforrealbeauty.com/). She has recovered from an eating disorder and her books, A Very Hungry Girl and Life Doesn't Begin 5 Pounds From Now, are amazingly funny and poignant. When Jess sent me her bio for the press release of the show one line intrigued me. It read: “When [Jess] is not busy changing the world, this dynamo likes to walk on fire!”
I shared this fact with my listeners when we came back from our final commercial break and asked Jess if she could tell us what she meant by that statement. She explained:
About nine or ten years ago I was living in Indianapolis and went on a spiritual retreat…it was non-denominational and served to get you connected to your body, to nature, to dreaming…kind of moving through your fears.
Jessica told of the ritual held during this retreat where participants were asked to write on slips of paper all of their fears—everything they felt was holding them back in their lives. Each person was then to write down all of their dreams—the things they’d like to accomplish in their lives. All of these slips of paper were thrown into a fire the group had started at the beginning of the activity. Participants were able to watch their fears and their dreams be released in the flame and smoke. Then the burning embers were spread out and each seeker was instructed on how to walk across the low glowing flames.
Jessica said that the key to walking the eight feet of fire was to remain completely and totally present. If the mind started to wander, “What am I going to eat for dinner?” Why did she say that?” then the bottoms of their feet would receive little “kisses” from the flames. Jess walked across these flames without experiencing one kiss.
Since then, Jessica has traversed over 40 feet of flame “kiss” free. The result of this exercise for her was to allow her to see what can be accomplished when we overcome our fears. Jess observed, “If I can conquer something like that I can conquer most of the hiccups and bumps that come my way.” Jessica now tries new things she never thought she could do before.
I share Jessica’s story not to encourage readers to run out and build fires in their backyards (please don’t), but instead to consider creating a ritual of our own. It can include the ritual of prayer—because it is our creation, we can make it as sacred as we’d like. We, too, can write down all our fears and all our dreams. We, too, can find a way to release them into the atmosphere—they can be burned but safer yet, they can be soaked in water until our writing is no longer legible and then poured around the base of a favorite tree in our yard. Once done, we could commit to doing something we never thought we could—conquering whatever fears may be holding us back—and then see what happens.
As I write this I realize that this might have been a very special experience to have shared with our daughters. Maybe it would be for you as well.
Blessings until next time,
Doris
To learn more about Jessica Weiner go to: http://jessweiner.com/
I am feeling numb as I continue to work (6 weeks in outpatient treatment) on understanding my daughter and her ED. She is experiencing the pressures of life, "What do I do now that college is over." Much of what she is holding in happened in her young years, as my husband, her dad was disabled for 7 years following brain surgery. Being the strong mother I was, worked very hard at hiding my emotion from her.....realizing now I did not do a very good job....she has learned to hold her emotions inside. I am looking for encouragement through this, as I wait patiently for my girl to want to share her thoughts and emotions with me. I appreciate your website. I had read some of your information years ago, when your daughter died. I attended Magnolia High School and had some connection with your family. My thoughts and prayers are with you,
Posted by: Lynda L. Smith | May 08, 2008 at 06:01 AM