If your child has been
stricken with an eating disorder, you will likely do a great deal of soul
searching in the process of seeking treatment. Despite the strong research support for FBT relative to other treatments
for adolescents and children, some parents (and
clinicians) are initially reluctant to choose it. They have the impression that FBT is “punitive,”
“harsh,” or just “too extreme.”
When I charge parents with
the task of refeeding, I will sometimes see immediate signs of shock and
reluctance, followed by something along the lines of, “We never considered
ourselves that kind of parent.” These parents are often struggling with the
notion of being in charge and implementing contingencies for eating (or not
eating)…If this is a disease, how could
it be fair to make privileges dependent upon eating, they ask. These questions are heartfelt, sincere, tinged
with empathy, and, ultimately, misguided.
Misguided because an eating
disorder rarely allows its host to choose
health. You must choose for your child.
You are “that kind” of
parent if you’re willing to do what it takes to save your child’s life. You are “that kind” of parent if you’re
willing to suffer the fury of an eating disorder that faces extinction. You are “that kind” of parent if you love
your child enough to put everything on hold to nurse him or her back to
health. It’s heroic to be that kind of
parent. Be proud.
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