Sending Your Recovering Child To College

This is that time of year when parents call me for advice on sending their eating-disordered child off to college for the first time. I’m always reminded how important it is that parents make sure that a good tight system is in place for their recovering young college students. As much as we would like to turn treatment and monitoring over to the college, the truth is that colleges rarely get involved until students are in serious enough trouble to worry roommates, professors, and residential life staff.

I just got off the phone with Leigh. She is the mother of Simone, who is going off to her freshman year in college in a few weeks. Leigh called the school last week, leaving a message saying that she wanted to know what resources the college had on campus that would support Simone’s continued recovery from purging anorexia. Leigh had called me because she was frustrated she hadn’t heard back from the health center and worried the college would not be aggressive enough with treatment to keep Simone’s recovery on track.
I told Leigh that most colleges are not going to insist on treatment for incoming students, but they can do weight checks and many have counseling departments and even nutritionists. As Simone’s parent, Leigh will have to be the one to insist that Simone arrange for the weekly weight checks and check out the counseling and nutrition resources. In Simone’s case, Leigh is going to have the health center fax weekly weights to me. Simone and I have planned to continue treatment over videocam unless she finds a nutritionist to work with on campus.
It’s a good idea to talk over the transition to college with your child’s nutritionist or doctor and coordinate ongoing care with your child’s college health care center. Your goal is to not have anything fall between the cracks where treatment is concerned. Starting college is stressful under any circumstances, so try to make the transition in treatment as seamless and well-planned out as possible.
Marcia

Comments

[Barboan]

My daughter Alex is going off to college this week and we just discovered her eating disorder. I submit that we have just begun but, after scrambling to the internist for a physical and the onset of therapy have found that she is stable and willing to start the process of healing. Although, she has resigned herself to work thru this I am afraid. In truth, college is only four hours away from home and there is comfort knowing that with the cooperation of many entities we can do this together. Thank you for this valuable information. This is a beginning.

[Marcia Herrin]

Barboan, our best wishes to you and Alex. Keep us posted on how your daughter is doing. Marcia

[hungrybug]

my daughter is also going to college this fall. she is so excited to be out from the watchful eyes of her family. we are aware of her struggling now, and have offered a compromise. found a college which has an eating disorder facility nearby. we agreed to back off, if she agrees to sign up with a physician specializing in e.d and have preliminary testing done before she starts school. in our eyes, she can take control of her needs, and we know that if she needs help, she is already a patient. she gets the results, she sees the physician, yet if she is in trouble, and unable to help herself, we are available. her college is 5 hours away from us. the freedom level for her was more important than submitting to the initial tests. not sure if it is best for her, but it is something we can live with at this point. not sure how we'll feel if it turns out her potassium level is out of whack, or she is severely in need of treatment. since she turned 18, we have been giving her the opportunity to be in charge of her own recovery process. really hard to let go...

[Marcia Herrin]

I like to remind parents of 18+ year olds that even though young adults of this age are legally INDEPENDENT of parents, most 18+ year olds are DEPENDENT on parents for financial support. And as a result parents have a lot of influence and power when it comes to insisting on recovery or treatment. Parents can consider saying "we won't pay for college unless you stay well."