Life After Recovery

REAL LIFE GHOST WORLD

I feel a bit transparent this Halloween.  You see, for the past six months I’ve been a ghost.  That means no name, no presence, no identity. I am getting nicely paid, and that takes some of the sting out of transparency, which is a necessary condition for a ghost writer.  But this temporary gig has got me thinking about all the years when I was a ghost of a different kind.  It’s got me to thinking about the living ghosts I encounter every day.  For what is the world of eating disorders but a kind of ghost world?

 You have no body that belongs to you.

You cannot own your own true identity.

You give yourself no credit.

You are the servant of a ruthless task master.

You feel insubstantial and powerless.

In the case of models, actors, or athletes who develop eating disorders under pressure from a demanding coach, casting agent, or designer, there may even be some financial compensation for becoming a ghost.

But when an eating disorder reduces you to ghosthood, you cease to exist in any other state.  Truly, your condition is an existential crisis.  To be or not to be becomes a grave and persistent challenge.

 This reflection throws my current state into bold and happy relief.  Ghosting as a writer is a job that I slip into and out of as I choose.  It pays the bills. It gives me the kind of amusement Casper enjoyed in the cartoons of my ancient youth. There are days when it’s fun to slip out of my real life roles and into a different persona.  Even when I’m not technically ghosting, I do this every time I invent a fictional character.  But the difference between ghost writing and the ghost world of eating disorders is that I can travel at will between this imaginary being and my own mind and body.  I know who I really am, and I can quit my ghost role at any time. 

My Halloween wish is for all those who are caught in the ghost world of eating disorders to dare to quit as if they were only ghost writing.  I know, I know all too well how much easier that is to say than to do.   But as a friend of mine tells me all the time, recovery isn’t for sissies.  It’s for real people who are sick and tired of living in a ghost world.  

 

Talk about bad PR!

"Dude, her head's bigger than her pelvis!"
I just can't get that line out of my head --or the preposterous image that prompted it, either.

In case you haven't heard the story in all its gory detail...
It began with a Ralph Lauren ad featuring model Filippa Hamilton that had been grotesquely photo-shopped so that -- yes -- her head really does appear bigger than her pelvis! 
When a blogger at boingboing.net pointed this out, you might have expected Ralph Lauren to pull the ad or at least try to pass it off as a technological botch.  Instead they sued the site for posting the cartoonish image without permission!  Here's a recap of this part of the story.(Fair use protected the blogger -- totally)
boingboing.net

THEN, Ralph Lauren fired Miss Hamilton, claiming she could not fulfill her 6-year contract because she was too fat.  She's a SIZE 4!!!!

But wait, there's more! You might have thought Ralph Lauren would be just a wee bit chastened by now.  Perhaps they'd get a clue?
Nope, they did it AGAIN -- photo shopping another pencil-thin model down to a stick figure.
UK coverage
The good news is that this publicity is making a laughing stock of Ralph Lauren, from the blogosphere to NBC -- and in the process, it's calling widespread attention to the lunacy and lies that run the fashion industry.

Even Alexandra Schulman, editor of British Vogue, has called the designers out for sending the magazing sample clothes too small for any grown woman to wear.  That constitutes progress!!!

If you feel enraged by all this, send letters of protest to Ralph Lauren-- Email: ralph lauren

At the very least, let's all boycott Ralph Lauren products until they realize that real women are not cartoons.

Hail to Brigitte Magazine for celebrating REAL Women!

Have you heard the news!

A MAJOR women's fashion magazine has finally decided to feature REAL women instead of famished fashion models!  And it's not just a one-time stunt but a permanent decision, beginning in January!
The credit for this bold and fabulous decision goes to Andreas Lebert, editor of Germany's top fashion mag, Brigitte.

And what's even better, he's doing it because of PRESSURE FROM WOMEN LIKE ALL OF US.
Lebert said he's been receiving increasing complaints from readers over "protruding bones" on models who bear no resemblance to the readers themselves.

"From 2010 we will not work with professional models any more," he said.

He also said that lately his magazine has actually had to retouch photos of underweight models to make them look HEAVIER!

As a former model who became so thin I could not get work when I was anorexic, this strikes a real chord with me. Maybe, after 40 years, standards finally are changing for the better.

This is proof positive that we all MUST raise our voices if we want to be heard and SEEN for all we really have to offer to the world!

Read the whole story here:
Telegraph UK

Staying connected...and independent

This is a bit off the track of eating disorders, but it's very much on the track of family communications that facilitate understanding instead of division...an issue that often seems to go hand in hand with ED.

The Los Angeles Times today published a piece about how my family uses e-mail to stay connected -- and independent. We call our system Hello Today.

"Stress had historically pulled our family apart instead of bringing us together, but Hello Today altered that pattern. Because we now had this routine of checking in on one another, we found it easier to confront problems as they emerged."

Find the rest of the article at:
http://www.latimes.com/news/opinion/commentary/la-oe-liu4-2009oct04,0,97946.story

Cheers!
Aimee