I am a worrier. I worry about races and tests, medical procedures, whether my cold will go away, and how the party will go. I worry about things I have to go through as a vulnerable human being. But I have learned over time to reach out to others, because that helps me more than anything else: having people being in it with me.
This comes as no surprise to me as I was such a TEAM person. I LOVED being part of a sports team because so many things seemed possible with the ever changing group of women I called my team. I remember erg tests with women screaming and shouting behind me where I PR’ed (personal recorded). I remember erg tests of the same distance I attempted to do alone and bonked. I remember dragging my tired, sorry butt down to the boathouse because those other women were waiting there, whereas the bed would have won if it were just me.
So as I collect candles and flashlights, extra water and canned goods for this epic hurricane that is headed towards my town of Boston I am surprised that I am NOT worrying. The radio says the National Guard is being called in and we are being urged to create evacuation kits, fill our bathtubs with water, and not leave our homes. You would think I would be worried. But I am not for the simple reason that we are ALL in this together. I have solidarity with neighbors everywhere. And that gives me enormous comfort.
And that is one of the elements of my recovery that has been so profound. I had to build a recovery team for myself of people who are also training hard in their recovery. I have needed to feel that I am not alone, that I am not the only one struggling, succeeding, or worrying. Small and scary things can seem daunting to me when I have to face them alone, but apparently I can face down hurricanes with enough solidarity. I’ll have to wait until Monday to declare this a Victorious Hurricane, but the victory of knowing how powerful a team can be -- is mine now.
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