"Normal" Eating by Karen R. Koenig

Holidays without Family

It’s hard to watch clients sink into despair about wanting to spend the holidays with family who aren’t very nice to them and who are, frankly, toxic to be around. Clients could feel joyous and proud choosing to be with healthy, loving friends without fear of family dynamics ruining “normal” eating or a good time, but instead, yearn desperately for a happy, functional family that never was or will be. This is a natural concern for folks in their 20s who are just breaking away from home and learning to be independent, but it’s downright self-destructive for people who are older and who need to move on.

Female Role Models

Lack great female role models in your life, women who are assertive, take care of themselves, and succeed at reaching their goals? Know or love a woman who could use some healthy models of women who've achieved and enjoyed success? A friend and colleague, Karma Kitaj, Ph.D., has written two wonderful books about successful women: WOMEN WHO COULD AND DID...LIVES OF 26 EXEMPLARY ARTISTS AND SCIENTISTS and her just published book, WOMEN RIDERS WHO COULD AND DID...LIFE STORIES OF TOP LEVEL EQUESTRIENNES. Check out her books at Huckle Hill Press.

Best,
Karen R. Koenig

The 48-Hour Rule

As a therapist, I often get asked what I do with difficult emotions, that is, how I handle life’s rough spots. Although I believe that all emotionally healthy people have a range of techniques for dealing with intense feelings, I know we all have certain skills we rely on. Recently I’ve set up a 48-hour rule about a certain kind of emotion visiting me, and have found it very useful.

The Role of Bacteria in Weight

I admit, I’m fascinated by the science of eating and weight and thrilled at how far we’ve come from the simplistic notion that slimness is merely a matter of self-control and willpower. The newest headline to catch my eye is “Bacteria in Intestines Play Key Role in Weight Gain, Study Finds”( LA Times, 11/12/09). Its conclusions are enlightening.

Emotional Wounding

If you were severely or chronically emotionally wounded in childhood or later life, you may fear “wounding” others if you say no, turn down advice, refuse to be their only support, or simply desire to focus on yourself rather than on them. Many disregulated eaters abuse food (and themselves) rather than hurt another person’s feelings. Hurting someone’s feelings is not a comfortable thing to do, but when appropriate, it is an essential life skill for quality mental health.

Updated website and free eating tips sheet!

Check out my updated website at Eating "normal" and sign up for my free eating tips sheet!

Best,
Karen R. Koenig

Chemicals and Overweight

Was it really that long ago that experts insisted that weight maintenance was all about calories in and exercise out? That’s what I grew up believing. Now we know that the issue is incredibly more complex, and that weight programming involves genes, biochemistry, and—according to a 9/21/09 Newsweek.com article by science writer Sharon Begley, “Early Exposure to Common Chemicals May Be Programming Kids to Be Fat”—that even common chemicals in our environment may affect our weight.

Food as Fun?

Growing up in NJ in the 50s, a special event was going to a diner called Holly’s to have a banana split. Although I looked forward to such a treat, I never classified it as “real fun.” I raise this subject because a while ago on the radio, I heard that Pop Tarts are just that—“real fun.” When exactly did food become major excitement in our lives?

Gratification versus Achieving Authentic Happiness

Do you know what constitutes authentic happiness? After all, we receive a barrage of confusing messages on the subject throughout our lives. One of the loudest is that gratifying our needs will make us happy—eat this food, buy that car, take a special vacation, learn this, purchase that. Much of what passes for happiness these days is what’s called short-term gratification and has little nutritive value emotionally. In order to achieve true happiness, it pays to understand how it differs from gratifying needs.

Beliefs about Success

Nothing thwarts recovery from food problems more than not believing that it’s okay to succeed—not only that success is acceptable, but that it’s a good thing. It’s shocking how many disregulated eaters grow up with the belief that it’s wrong to succeed, and this belief then becomes a major obstacle to feeling positive about achievement. Whether we’re talking overcoming eating problems or triumphing in other areas of life, what you believe about success is an essential prerequisite to making it happen.