Book Review: You Are Not Alone

As an author, I’m sometimes asked to write blurbs or reviews of books on eating, which is a wonderful way for me to keep abreast of what’s out there. For example, YOU ARE NOT ALONE (Vol. 2): THE BOOK OF COMPANIONSHIP FOR WOMEN WITH EATING DISORDERS (with a great music CD) by Andrea Roe. Although the book says it’s for women, it’s really for men, too, so don’t be fooled by the title!

The book’s premise is that recovery is possible and its theme is hope. Anita Johnson (author of EATING IN THE LIGHT OF THE MOON) writes in her introduction how hope is the inspiration for recovery.  I would add that hope is not a constant thing, but waxes and wanes. One day we make wise, satisfying, nourishing choices around food and feel optimistic and even mildly confident that we are changing, then the next day, we make poor choices and disregard appetite cues and are thrown back to square one and despair. It’s at times like this that YOU ARE NOT ALONE comes in handy. You can’t read its stories, anecdotes and poems and view the accompanying illustrations without your spirits lifting.

One reason for my message boards (http://groups.yahoo.com/group/foodandfeelings and http://groups.yahoo.com/group/nicegirlsfinishfat) is to help people with disregulated eating feel less alone and provide a forum for giving support. The problem with message boards, however, is that you don’t always have access to log on. But what you can hold in your hands any hour of any day is a book. Too many people with eating disorders struggle alone—they’re ashamed, they feel too vulnerable to open up about their problems, they fear humiliation or invalidation. For them, even a message board can be too scary. But a book speaking to your heart does wonders.

YOU ARE NOT ALONE is for anyone with an eating problem—anorexia, bulimia, overeating, binge-eating, or chronic dieting. It’s for those of you who are unhappy with your bodies and want to improve your relationship with the image you see in the mirror or the number on the scale. It will inspire you whether you’re contemplating changing your eating, are in the throes of struggle, have lost hope, or simply enjoy learning about how other people cope and vanquish eating problems. Although I’m a cognitive-behavioral therapist at heart, I want to stress that changing your thinking about food is not the only way to recover. You also have to make connections to other people and let them help you—in person or through the pages of a book. YOU ARE NOT ALONE sends a powerful message about support, hope, and the possibility of recovery.

Best,

Karen

http://www.eatingnormal.com/

http://www.nicegirlsfinishfat.com/

Normal Eating talks and media events

PLEASE NOTE: I encourage you to comment on my blogs and will do my best to address topics/questions you raise in future blogs. I cannot provide individual responses, but encourage you to post your questions and comments at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/foodandfeelings or http://groups.yahoo.com/group/nicegirlsfinishfat.

 

Comments

[Lois]

I recently wrote the following book review of a collection of vignettes by a recovering anorexic, in which you might be interested:

A Journal of Recovery, in Free Verse Form

Full / Kendal Finley Privette. lulu.com, 2009. ISBN-10: 0557083532;
ISBN-13: 978-0557083534. $13.98.

Torn between the poignant dilemma of:

if I’ve lost, I’ve disappointed chris
if I’ve gained, I’ve disappointed ed

(“Damned”), Kendal Privette anguishes through her state of anorexia in this collection of tormented free verse, spanning three years. Though the book is dedicated to her husband, Chris, the text reveals an ongoing battle with ed (the persona assumed by her eating disorder). All her relationships and activities are disrupted by ed, who is a compelling force from whom she is unable to escape.

The poems and lines are short, fragmented, fractious and fractured, as is Kendal’s thinking. Robbed of her ability to appreciate her full self-worth as an educator, she is equally unable to savor the beauty of her surroundings. Each poem starts with a statement of her weight, which looms in omnipotent presence, as an ever-present menace.

Kendal is possessed by an inability to actualize herself fully as a woman, as, restrained by her illness, she is unable to allow herself to appreciate those activities in which other women delight. Visiting a mall (“The Mall”) merely serves only to remind her of her own inadequacies in relation to other women, whom she sees as her polar opposites:

There are young women.
I’m not young anymore.
There are old women.
I fear age.

However, such poems form only the first half of the book, which Kendal terms “Slipping”. The second half she calls “Freedom”. Reaching the nadir of her self-destruction in “Kiss of Death”, Kendal seeks help. Being diagnosed with anorexia, under medical guidance she is able to start responding to the encouragement of those who love her. But the journey back is painful…

When visiting a restaurant (“Applebee’s”) with her husband, she feels repelled by offerings specifically designed to set the average patron’s taste buds aquiver:

Grilled chicken drizzled with zesty lime sauce,
topped with Mexi-ranch and Jack-cheddar sauces,
served with crisp tortilla strips,
seasoned rice, and pico de gallo.

Looking around her at the other patrons, she sees that she is surrounded by obesity. However, even here Kendal’s ability actually to see those around her at all is an indication of the start of her recovery, marking a move away from the utter introspection of the first half of her journey to self-discovery.

Whereas before Kendal thought of herself as a total outsider, her gradual recovery from ED alerts her (in “Fitting In”) to the fact that

They are the happy people.
And I don’t even come close to fitting in.

She also starts to question her perceptions of others:

Are they really as pure as I think,
or have they searched for truth
and found it as hideous as I have found mine?

And so, she starts to perceive the truth and, once again, to assert balance in her own life.

This collection of poetry is riveting in its intensity, providing insight into the mind of one who has to penetrate the depths of her self-induced anguish in order to recover a full and balanced image of self. Full has the potential to give hope and to restore a sense of worth to all those impacted on by an eating disorder. In brief, it is a journal of recovery, written in free verse form.

Regards,

Lois