"Normal" Eating by Karen R. Koenig

Book Review: The End of Overeating

I highly recommend Dr. David A. Kessler’s new book, THE END OF OVEREATING: TAKING CONTROL OF THE INSATIABLE AMERICAN APPETITE. He was the commissioner of the U.S. Food and Drug Administration from 1990-7 and writes on eating and weight from a professional perspective, but also as someone who struggles with food himself. Some pertinent points from this very enlightening and readable book.

Fear of Failure or Fear of Success?

When I started out as a therapist, I didn’t think much about what we call “fear of success.” I believed that the underlying problem—the real fear—was of failure. Now, thanks to the numerous clients who have educated me about their issues, I understand that people also suffer from a bona fide fear of success, a fear that is common among people with eating problems. As a disregulated eater, it’s crucial that you recognize and deal with the fact that you actually might be afraid of achieving recovery.

Changing Behavior to Change Beliefs

Most of the time I focus on helping people alter their beliefs to change their emotions and behaviors, but once in a while I’m reminded of how the belief/emotion/behavior triad works in other ways. For example, how behavior can shift emotions, especially when you can’t get yourself out of the rut of, “I can’t…This is too hard…Life is terrible…No one cares, etc.” Well, you get the idea—when it really is nearly impossible to talk yourself out of your stinkin’ thinkin. In that case, if you can’t shift the reality inside of your head, you will have to shift the reality outside of it.  Here’s how.

Structure versus Freedom

A problem that crops up frequently with clients is what I call the desires for structure versus freedom. You know, you love the idea of following a plan, having routine in your life, and establishing goals. That is, you love them initially, until somewhere down the line, you stop loving these things and, instead, find them annoying, confining, and overwhelming. You chafe at the rules and rigidity, quit following the plan, and give up on the goals. Then sooner or later you yearn for them again—and round and round it goes. 

Stages of Relationship Health

When we are unhappy in a romantic relationship and lack a blueprint for what constitutes functionality, we may wish for improvement but not know how to achieve it and, in frustration, turn misguidedly to food. Most of us know what physical and sexual abuse are and are clear that we need to put a stop to them, but we’re less clear about what makes for or how to handle emotional abuse or neglect. Hence, it continues and we continue to rely on food for comfort, consolation, and distraction.

Are You A Rebel Without A Cause?

I spend a good deal of therapy time talking with clients about being stuck in rebellion. Not adolescents, but adults—people in their 40s, 50s and 60s who are still wasting precious time and energy fighting imaginary powers that be. Mind you, our discussions aren’t about them getting out and protesting for civic or global causes. They’re about how they continue to rebel against “authority” and “shoulds” in the food and other arenas and how this behavior, more than any other, keeps them stuck in overeating.

Yet More on Legalizing Food

If you're still struggling with food legalization, I hope you’ve read my blogs on the subject. This one builds on the previous two. Frankly, I’ve found that the concept works for some people but not for others, and it’s difficult to know in which category you fall. Finding the best path for you is yet another facet of healing from eating problems.

More on Legalizing Food

As a first step in healing eating problems, legalizing food is a tricky and complicated business, based as much on biology as psychology. Many disregulated eaters get stuck in the effort to widen food horizons and don’t move beyond it. This blog and future ones can’t tell you exactly how to manage legalization, but will help you sort out the issues involved in it.

Looking for testimonials from blog readers

Hello blog readers. I'm redoing my "normal" eating website and looking for brief--two to three sentence--testimonials regarding how reading my blogs have helped you recover from your food/weight/body image problems. I'm not using names, only initials, so don't worry about confidentiality. You can email your testimonial to me at kkoeniglicsw@comcast.net. Thank you in advance.