"Normal" Eating

Legalizing Foods

When the idea of "legalizing" food was introduced some three decades ago, I was just starting to work through my own dieting/binge-eating struggles. By the time I began to treat and write about disregulated eating, I was pretty much a “normal” eater and no longer thought about food as good or bad, legal or illegal. Now, I’m concerned with how much trouble disregulated eaters have with the term legalization. For too many of you, it seems to provide license to go hog wild with food which, of course, creates more problems than solutions. My ideas on legalizing food may differ from other experts, and hopefully will help those of you who are trying to expand food options constructively.

Thoughts on Fat

I’m always thrilled when the media catches up to enlightened thinking. Sadly, it’s a rare occurrence, which makes it worth mentioning because, to greater or lesser degree, what we read, hear and see often shapes our thinking. A NYTimes article by Roni Caryn Rabin, “Fat Wasn’t Always a Bad Thing,” jumped off the page at me. It’s one of the few I’ve read for public consumption that views fat from a logical, realistic perspective.

Nice Guys May Finish Fat Too

Now that my new book, NICE GIRLS FINISH FAT—PUT YOURSELF FIRST AND CHANGE YOUR EATING FOREVER, is out, I’m often asked whether nice guys have the same problems as nice gals. The answer is yes and no. There are many excessively nice guys out there who have the same traits and use food in much the same way as “nice girls,” but they don’t have the double whammy of family dysfunction and cultural expectations shaping their personalities and relationship with food.

The 90 Second Emotion Rule

In her amazing book, MY STROKE OF INSIGHT: A BRAIN SCIENTIST’S PERSONAL JOURNEY, Jill Bolte Taylor, Ph.D., maintains that it takes about 90 seconds to pass through the physical phase of experiencing an emotion. Aside from recommending the book as a terrific read, I found her knowledge of and insights into the workings of the brain useful in thinking about behavioral change, in this case about emotional eating.

What's It Going to Take?

A new Associated Press/iVillage survey concludes that American women are shedding pounds for the wrong reason. Want to guess what, according to research, the primary motivation should be to successfully keep weight off? Want to guess what the most common motivation is? If your first answer was “for good health” and your second was “to look good,” you’re right in line with the AP survey results.

Weight and Relationships

If you’re a plus-size woman, this blog could be a downer—but only if you let it be one. An article in ScienceDaily (6/23/09), “Heavy Women Have Lower Quality Relationships, But Same Is Not True for Men, Study Finds,” is far from heartening, but, remember, research is about statistics and doesn’t dictate your romantic choices or situation.

Undereating and Food Obsession

A blog reader recently asked me to write more about undereating and the fear of becoming overweight. There are many similarities between undereaters and overeaters—using food as an emotional distraction or crutch, allowing weight to determine self-worth, dependence on inadequate life skills, and disconnection from appetite signals. However, there are also differences.

Fat Girls Guide to Living

I want to tell you about a fabulous new website I discovered for overweight women—The Fat Girl’s Guide to Living at http://www.fatgirlsguidetoliving.com/. Here’s what the women who run the site say about it: “The Fat Girl’s Guide to Living is a lifestyle blog for and by overweight women who are tired of missing out on really living because of internal and external pressures and perceptions of themselves.“ They also describe the site as “a life hacker for the full-figured set.” Good stuff, huh?

A Client's Own Words on Progress

This is an inspiring post from a client who is also a member of my Food and Feelings message board. She graciously allowed me to share her words on my blog space, but wants readers to know the following: She’s still a work in progress, as she adamantly stresses in our sessions, worrying that people will think she’s overcome all her problems (heaven forbid!). Nor does she have the positive attitude that shines through this post every day. Some days are better than others. She also fears feeling too good because of childhood messages about pride and how she was invalidated when she did achieve and succeed. To me, these fears as well as her accomplishments are highly telling and speak to the struggles that many of you have.