"Normal" Eating by Karen R. Koenig

When You Eat

Safe to say that most of us have a typical eating schedule whether we realize it or not.  Hopefully, it’s an intentional, mindful pattern, but it may also develop without much thought—when the ice cream truck rings its bell or when you stroll by Starbucks. Do you set your own schedule with an eye toward hunger, health, and satisfaction, or have you simply fallen into eating at certain times, well, just because? The answer to this question may help determine your weight.

Confirmed, Diets Don't Work Long Term

A Los Angeles Times article confirms what research has been saying for decades. In “In War on Waist, Any Diet’s A Winner,” writer Shari Roan talks about the diet wars and which diet comes out on top, then concludes (the envelope, please) that the answer is “any diet.” The article’s take away message—that it doesn’t matter what you call your eating as long as it reduces calories. No surprises there.

Regret and Guilt

So many troubled eaters suffer from excessive guilt, about eating and other behaviors. If you are overwhelmed with guilt when you think you’ve done something wrong, consider replacing it with regret. In fact, what you feel, more often than not, actually may be regret and not guilt to begin with.

Eating Frequency

“How often should I eat?” is something I’m often asked and a subject that regularly crops up on my message board (http://groups.yahoo.com/group/foodandfeelings). It’s an important question lacking a one-size-fits-all answer. When people ask me how often they should eat, I know immediately that they are looking for an answer in the wrong place—outside of themselves—rather than reflecting internally on what is right for them, because the only person I can answer for is myself!

Stable Sense of Self

Many disregulated eaters lack a stable sense of self—an ongoing, permanent self-reflection of being okay and a good person all the time. Internal stability helps you tolerate negatives feelings about yourself because you view yourself as basically good enough. Because people with food problems often eat when they aren’t happy with themselves or to  punish themselves, a stable sense of self reduces unwanted eating.

Pre-eating Meditation

If you want to put yourself in the right frame of mind for eating, try a meditation beforehand. Don’t let the word scare you. A meditation can be anything you focus your physical and mental attention on. By saying aloud the message you want to program into yourself right before eating, you increase your potential for responding to it while you’re eating, thereby heightening your awareness to better connect to appetite signals.

Book Review: It's Not Your Fault`

Books that tell you to change unwanted attitudes and behaviors by “just doing it” don’t generally work for readers with traumatic childhoods. That’s why I like It’s Not Your Fault: How Healing Relationships Change Your Brain and Can Help You Overcome a Painful Pastby Patricia Romano McGraw, Ph.D. She explains in readable language and through case-based examples what happens to a child’s brain growing up in a stressful, dysfunctional (ie, traumatic) environment and describes how therapy can actually change the brain and heal the heart. As so many disregulated eaters are trauma survivors—whether you recognize yourself as one or not—this book will help you understand why it’s so difficult to establish and maintain new eating habits. 

Time and Self-care

Do you tell yourself you don’t have time for food shopping or preparation, eating healthily, sleeping sufficient hours, or exercising regularly? Do you lament that you’re so stressed and overwhelmed, there’s not a minute to take care of yourself? You may place the blame on there not being enough hours in a day but, really, time isn’t the problem. Your beliefs are! Until you recognize and debunk the lies you tell yourself about being too busy, you won’t resolve your food, weight, and self-care problems.