"Normal" Eating by Karen R. Koenig

Different Kinds of Food Problems

Linda Moran, moderator of the Diet Survivors message board at http://www.groups.yahoo.com/group/dietsurvivors, often reminds members that some folks can diet and lose weight more or less permanently—the 5% of dieters who are successful and make everyone else feel like failures. They have simpler food-related issues than the multitude who have complications. In fact, some folks have eating problems, others have weight problems, and others have eating and weight problems.

 

Healthy Eating as Hardship

On occasion when I’m dining with people and happen to be eating something nutritious such as salad, brown rice or a plate of veggies, someone will tut tut about what a terrible hardship it must be to eat healthily all the time. Huh? Generally, I first correct them and tell them that every morsel of food that enters my mouth is by no means super nutritious. Then I (tactfully) ask where they got the erroneous idea that treating your body to wholesome food is some kind of hardship. This is one of those times I recognize right off that someone else’s words are more about them than about me. 

Magic Words

To break old, ingrained habits you must remain aware. Using a few words to click on that light bulb can go a long way toward helping you make conscious decisions around food. How many times have you said to yourself, If only I’d realized what I was doing when I grabbed for that Dove bar? or I snarfed down three rolls before I even knew I was eating! Conjuring up a few magic words can stop you dead in your tracks and give you pause to think.

Gratitude versus Appreciation

The concept of gratitude is much in vogue, but it doesn’t sit right with me. I hear clients express how grateful they are for good things that happen to them. In fact, many feel gratitude for practically everything positive that comes their way. The dictionary defines gratitude as, “A kindly feeling because of a favor received, ”and favor as, “A kindness.” Nothing hinky there, but I’m left feeling that the word has come to mean getting something you’re not completely sure you deserve. 

 

Crying

I can’t believe I haven’t blogged about crying. Such an important, misunderstood, under-rated function. Crying, what a hot button for young and old, men and women. The word itself might make you want to stop reading this minute and go change the cat litter or get a jump on doing your taxes. Crying has that kind of power. Too bad it’s gotten such a bum rap when it’s just the activity that might stop you from abusing food.

Book Review: What Every Therapist Needs to Know About Treating Eating and Weight Issues

Ever wish your therapist could help more with your eating and weight issues? Wonder why a counselor doesn’t pick up on your distress over food or body image or minimizes these issues when you start talking about them? Feel angry that the only response a therapist has to your being overweight is to tell you to go on a diet? Love working with your therapist, but wish he or she had a better understanding of your eating and weight frustrations? My new book, What Every Therapist Needs to Know About Treating Eating and Weight Issues, has the answers you’re looking for—and much, much more.

More on Shame

Can I ever say enough about shame and how damaging it is to a sense of self? Discussion on my message board http://www.groups.yahoo.com/group/foodandfeelings often comes back to body hatred and how to let go of negative feelings about overweight. This is a tough nut to crack. You can’t sit around and wait for body shame to fly away. You have to be proactive and nudge it out the door a bit at a time. First, however, you have to understand where it comes from and what purpose it serves.

Eating in the Dark

Everyone is telling us how to eat. If they’re not pushing advice about which foods or ingredients will ensure or compromise health or lengthen or shorten longevity, they’re giving guidance on portion size or misleadingly advising us how to feel full by tucking in a salad before a meal or drinking lots of water during one. And now we’re being told not to eat in the dark. Yup, I read it in Parade magazine. Do not, they insist, eat in the dark if you’re trying to lose weight or keep it off.