Why Call Change Work?

I’ve been noodling about why we call the act of self-transformation “work” and whether giving it this label may not bias us against it. After all, most of us think about work not as something we love to do, but as something we have to do, like it or not. You know--yard work, homework, housework. Perhaps calling the journey toward “normal” eating work does a disservice to it and makes change more difficult. Maybe it’s time to reframe the process into something more positive and enticing.

To begin with, “work” implies a beginning and an end. We start and we finish, but do we ever really fully achieve human potential? Can we coast or rest when work is complete if what we’re working on is our imperfect selves? If learning is work, does that mean we stop learning when work is done? A more helpful approach might be to think of lifelong knowledge and skill acquisition that constantly and consciously moves us toward self-actualization. Problems come up and need to be solved. We devise solutions and have no problems until more crop up. Such is the course of life and we should expect that we always will have problems—and solutions! If we consider problems natural challenges and learning experiences, they’re not such a hardship, such, well, work.

When people say they’re working to become “normal” eaters, they mean they’re willing to put in effort and be uncomfortable in the present—learning new behavioral skills, changing thinking, developing more effective ways to handle emotions—so that eating and life will be easier in the future. In that sense, work is an apt word to describe the process of facing hurdles and overcoming them. However, we have to be careful not to make the process into so much of production in our heads that we’re biased against and overwhelmed by it. Even the word “struggle”—which I use a good deal in my writing and professional work—is steeped in negative connotation.

Therapists often use the word “work” to indicate the need for clients to put energy into achieving a positive outcome and to reinforce the principle that change is most often the result of intentional effort. When therapists say to a client that she needs to “work” on her eating problems, we’re giving the message that change will not happen without it. But maybe we should use the word less frequently and focus on simple cause and effect, removing the negative nuance, as in, “If you do this, X happens” and “If you don’t, Y happens.” Think about whether the word “work” triggers a negative reaction in you. If you’re put off by it, find another word or phrase (like recovery or problem-solving or making progress) which is easier to accept and that keeps you moving you forward.

Best,

Karen

Normal Eating web site

Normal Eating talks and workshops

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Comments

[Kim]

Hi Karen,
This blog really got me thinking (as all your blogs do). I started back to academic study six years ago and love it, but I don't think I've ever referred to it as "work." I call it "study." I've also referred to study "pressure." I'm also an employed individual and like you mentioned in your blog, I call it "work" with the connotation that I have a start and finish time. As far as my change of eating is concerned (or attempt at changing it), I have called it "diet" and "work." I never saw the connection with a starting a quitting time until now.

Work (i.e. academic or employment) can be either challenging or joyful, but it is satisfactory in the end. However, I've never seen any eating plan as satisfactory or joyful. Come to think of it, I've never seen it as challenging either. I've only ever seen it as deprivation that has a start and finish time. I've always looked forward to "the day" when my deprivation time has ended and I can enjoy my body, along with the way I love to eat.

This shows me that even though I've never thought of a change in my eating as "work" ... I've subconsciously seen it that way. And come to think about it, I really don't know how to change that mindset. When I'm studying it's a mental thing. When I'm working it's a physical thing. But a change of eating is an emotional thing, so the only thing I know to do is face my emotions square on and allow myself to 'feel' them rather than turning to food to 'satisfy' them. This is hard work !! I really need to get out of this thinking because "work" has a negative image with me concerning my eating. I'm going to have to "work" on my thinking hehee