One of the things you must do to recover from an eating problem or disorder is to establish or take back power over your body. It is yours and no one else’s—not your mother’s, father’s, or spouse’s, and you need to understand this on a very deep level before you can move toward physical and emotional health. A book I read recently might help you reclaim what is rightfully yours. Written by Jessica Valenti, Full Frontal Feminism (Seal Press, CA, 2007) is aimed at assuring women that being a Feminist is a good thing for their own health and well-being. As I read it, I realized how being a Feminist could help women overcome eating and weight problems.
Feminism is defined as “belief in the social, political, and economic quality of the sexes.” Although that sounds like an abstract definition and is perhaps hard to connect to eating, think about it. If you believe that women aren’t as good as men and don’t deserve to be treated equally, what does that say about your body and who gets to make decisions about it? Who gets to decide how to feed or dress it? It’s fine to want to be attractive but, please, please yourself, because no man has the right to tell you how you should look or eat. None of them has the right to tell you what you should or shouldn’t put on your plate or in your mouth, what you should weigh, or how you should dress. Sure, they can give input—if asked. But that’s it.
If you’re a Feminist you believe you should go after power and success the same way men do. Feminism encourages you to avoid relying on looks and go out there and cultivate your talent and brains. You don’t need a perfect exterior to get what you want. Men don't have one, so why should you? Being a Feminist means that you expect to be treated as an adult, just like men do, whether at home or in the workplace. It means that in the social, economic, and political arenas you deserve and will insist on getting your fair share.
Feminism says that you won’t tolerate violence done to women and refuse to do violence to your own body by starving it to fashion thinness. It means that you won’t be some man’s idea of arm candy and stand for compromising your health because he wants you to be skinny as a rail. It means not allowing men to make sexist remarks about your (or anyone’s) body, even if it’s what you want to hear. It means defining yourself in any darned old way you please. Full Frontal Feminism tells it like it is and is lots of fun to read (it does use language quite freely). When you’re a Feminist, you want the best for yourself and make sure you get it! And, P.S., guys can be Feminists too.
Best,
Karen
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What often seems to be missed in arguments like this is that, when you are a optimally fit female, you sometimes draw a lot of critical remarks and snarkiness from *other women*. This has happened to several of my friends who have met their weight and fitness goals. Attention from men (negative or positive) they were for the most part prepared to handle, but negative attention from other women was unexpected and could really throw them off. This could come from female friends, family members, or total strangers who appeared to feel threatened by their state of fitness.
I'd like to see someone write about how all this fits into the picture. Men are, after all, biologically motivated to respond positively to women they find attractive. (Whether or not individual men do this tactfully, or whether the individual woman views any such response as desirable or not, is a different question.)
When I have been at my fittest, I have noticed a significant difference in the positive attention I have received from men. Part of this was no doubt due to my own increased confidence levels, knowing I had worked hard to become fit and succeeded. In any case, this was something that often benefited me in small ways, mostly just making life and general interactions more pleasant. If I had a problem with any given man's communication with me, I could choose to confront it or ignore it, depending on the situation and how much energy it was worth it to me to invest in the relationship.
I'd like to see someone write about how it's also feminist to really own the power and strength that a fit body gives you. Not that you need to abuse any such power; rather, simply to acknowledge that it's OK to accept this as a fact of life, and work with it as part of the process of integrating your self-concept and making your overall life better.
Posted by: Jen | January 23, 2008 at 02:26 AM
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