I recently talked with kids about body image at my daughter’s middle school. Amid the deconstructing of celebrity photos and frank discussion about fat-teasing, I what messages the 12 and 13-year olds were taking home. Then today, a student’s mother sent me her daughter’s blog entry, prompted by that visit. It says a lot about the anti-fat battle our kids are weathering…
THINK!
By Jordan
Tell me something, is it really going to help me feel better if people tell me that they were the same size as me five years ago and I just need to grow into my weight? ONE WORD – NO! I mean that I think that I am beautiful and stronger than most people I know (not to have a big head or anything). People try to help me so much by telling me that I shouldn’t care that I just feel worse! If you really think about it, by telling me that, it makes it seem like it’s my fault that I feel bad about what people say. So obviously I feel worse and worse and worse.
But anyway, I haven’t written in a while because I have been trying to not freak out and get all depressed. About a month ago, we got new seats in history class. I got put next to this very rude boy named *****. During a quiz that day, he was making sooo much noise. My friend ***** told the teacher that he was being annoying; and I stupidly told him that he was being annoying. When I talk, I subconsciously say “like” a lot. He said “like, like, like, like like”. So I said “like, like, like, like, like” Then, of course, he said, “like why don’t you lose some weight”.
As if my day couldn’t get anymore defeating, one girl’s mom came into class to talk about eating disorders. A few of the guys who had called me fat in the past were sitting behind me and my best friend. The one guy who has been most persistent with all these “jokes” had whispered my name when the woman presenting got to the part about bingeing, more than once. Not that I was surprised or anything, but it still hurt. Then, everyone started talking to me about power yoga (because I love it!), but in a negative way. They would jus task me things like, “why would I do it, and stuff that was so unnecessary.
Right now, everything has calmed down, but I can’t help but think about what people are saying behind my back. Every little whisper and laugh in my direction kills me. The most recent thing that has happened wasn’t even in school. Last Sunday I went shoe shopping for my friend’s Bat Mitzvah at Cole Haan. I got a pair of heels that I really liked and tried them on. The guy looked at my feet and said, “these shoes only have a 5% give. It isn’t at all enough for her foot.” It may seem stupid, but the way he said it was so demeaning. Bad shoe salesman, don’t you think? I would have bought the shoes if he didn’t say that. Well, I’ll keep you posted. I know something else is going to happen soon. I can just feel it!
Jordan is a 7th Grader in Brookline, MA
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