The Culture of Disordered Eating in Athletics

Is your life your own?

Recently there was an on-line article about a former collegiate basketball player who had seemingly "vanished" from the limelightt.  Apparently he was an excellent player who received a great deal of attention while playing.  So, the question had been asked...where is he now?  What is he doing?  Apparently the answer was that he was married and living in the rural south working a "regular" job just as he had expected prior to "making it big" in college hoops.  The article noted that he was considering the possibility of a pro "comeback" but that it was not clear whether or not he wanted to.  The article said something about this young man being caught between the life he was living that he had expected to live prior to his ball career and the life that others expected of him.  It sounded like all he wanted to do was to play college basketball, get a college degree, then live a "normal" life.  And now he's got people effectively asking why on earth he would want to do that?!

Talk about pressure!  He is probably feeling more pressure now than he ever did as a starter.

I don't know if he has made his decision; however, it got me thinking about what we end up doing because others expect certain things of us.  How much do we achieve because others expect that we can and we will?  What would it mean if we did not live up to others' expectations of how our lives ought to be?  I think these are difficult questions.  And considering what to do can leave us stressed, miserable and ultimately living lives that others have designed for us.

So what would happen if you said (or yelled) "enough!"  And declared that you were going to live your life the way you want to live it?  Would you know where to start?  Would you know what that life is?  Why not start imagining what your life would be like if you were not living it for others and by other's expectations?  How scary is that for you?  What is the worst that could happen?  What is the cost of not taking the reigns?

Again, I do not think that these are easy questions with easy answers.  I think, however, that they are questions worth asking.  I am not immune to the pressures of others; however, I know that when I decided that I was going to do my best to live my life my way...I was happier.  I made mistakes, but they were mine.  I had success, and it was mine.  Find others that support you in your quest to be you and to live your life.  Find others who accept you for who you really are...and if you're not sure who that is yet, surround yourself with those who are cheering you every step of the way as you discover you.

Is Your New Year's Resolution Good Enough?

Happy New Year!!  I hope your year is off to the kind of start you had hoped for!

If you are like many on the planet you have begun you new year with a New Year's Resolution.  It may be brand spanking new, or it may be one that you'll "get right" this year!!  (That reminds me of a t-shirt slogan in Chicago in the 1980's..."This year's our year" - referring to the Cubs!!).  Anyway, there is certainly nothing wrong with looking forward to what the year will bring and trying to influence what happens by declaring what you will and won't do throughout the year; however, if you are also like many people on the planet you will not meet your New Year's Resolution.  Why?  Why is this such a difficult thing to do?  Most Resolutions seem reasonable:  "I want to be a better spouse/partner."  "I will improve on my personal best."  "I will get healthier."

On the surface these all seem like "good" Resolutions; however, there are the type of Resolutions that are not likely to be met.  Why?!  Well, they aren't good enough.  Let me explain...

Making New Year's Resolutions is nothing more than world-wide, glorified, goal setting.  No, that's not a bad thing; however, thinking of Resolutions in terms of goals can make them more understandable and can allow us to craft a Resolution that is more likely to be realized. 

A Resolution is simply a goal that we decide to declare at the start of a new year.  These goals are declared at the start of a new year as if doing so will some how improve the chances of it "coming true."  That makes it sound more like a wish than an honest to goodness goal!  The one thing that these goals have going for them is that they are declared publicly.  In the world of sport psychology (and other areas that have examined goal setting effectiveness) we know that making a goal public (i.e., telling others what your goal is) will make you more likely to stick to it. 

So what does it take to make a "good enough" Resolution/goal?  Since I imagine many of you are athletes, you may be used to goal setting; however, you may not have been taught what really makes a good goal and how to achieve it.  And if you have been taught that...it can't hurt to be reminded right?

1. Your Resolution needs to be realistic.  I think most are; however, it is a good idea to honestly consider your commitment to your Resolution (will you REALLY do what you need to or does your Resolution simply "sound good"?) and the reality of whether or not you have what it takes to achieve your Resolution (is it really possible for you or is this more like a wish).
2. Your Resolution needs to be specific.  I think this is where the trouble starts for most Resolutions.  All of the examples in the firsts paragraph are NOT specific.  Your Resolution should be declared in sucha way that it can be easily measured by you or anyone else who cares about you.  So instead of "I want to improve on my personal best", a better way to put it is: "I want to improve on my mile time by 20 seconds by the end of the season."  You'll know, your coach will know, your family and friends will know whether or not you achieved that.  It is EASY to measure.  Of course if a goal like this feels like WAY to much pressure, then I would encourage you to consider your Resolution in terms of #1 above...It is realistic.  If not, don't throw it away...modify it!

3. Identify the steps you will take along the way toward meeting your Resolution.  Your resolution can be considered the long-term goal, and these steps can be considered the short-term goals that will help you reach your long-term goal.  These too need to be specific.  So a step of "training harder" for the above example is not "good enough."  Rather..."I will work with my coach to establish a training program."  Then the next steps will specifically outline the training program.

4. Make your Resolution public.  As I noted above, this is typically built into most Resolutions as we tend to declare them publicly.  Or, if we haven't we are often faced with question after question about whether or not we made a New Year's Resolution and what was it!  Of course, be sure to consider HOW public you want your Resolution to be.  Some can be quite personal or we simply don't want many people to know our business.  So, identify one or two people whom you trust and with whom you can discuss your progress.

5. Finally, I would encourage you to consider whether or not your Resolution is a healthy one.  Some of you may have made or are considering making a Resolution that may be damaging to your emotional or physical health.  One way to test this is by asking yourself whether or not you would share you Resolution with anyone or if there are certain people you DEFINITELY would not tell.  Also consider who would be bothered by your Resolution?  Why would they be bothered by it?  You can always check out the safety of your Resolution with a trusted health care professional or someone who you know has your best interests at heart.
   

   So I'll end here with what I started: I hope your New Year is off to the kind of start you had hoped for...and I'll add...I hope your Resolutions "come true"!!