Crossroads & Turning Points by Kim Lampson

Why do some people recover and others do not?

Sometimes, I sit and wonder why some people recover and others do not.

There is a time to push and a time to accept "no".

 

Why is accepting "no" so hard for people with eating disorders? Why do we insist on pushing ahead even when cicrumstances or people in our lives are screaming "no"? Many times we insist on doing what we want despite all indicators that say stop. 

How is your body image?

Mirror, Mirror, on the wall,who is the thinnest of them all?

MEANING OR DESPAIR ?

If you have an eating disorder, you have experienced suffering. 

Self-Designed Recovery

Just like every person has a unique personality that is different from that of anyone else in the world, I believe that every person's journey of recovery is unique. If this is true, you need to ask yourself, "who will design my recovery?". Will it be your parents, your spouse, a treatment program, a therapist, or you? The answer to this question can be a crossroads, a turning point, or both. Let me explain.

Crossroads: To feel or not to feel. That is the key question when it comes to behavior change.

My father used to love to recite the following verse in a fake English accent, "It ain't the 'eavy 'aulin' that 'urt the 'orses 'ooves. It's the 'ammer, 'ammer, 'ammer on the 'ard 'ighway."  Believe it or not, there is an application to eating disorder recovery. 

Death can be a crossroads or turning point.

Fairy tales typically do not end with death. Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, Snow White, Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast have living happily ever after as the end of the story. There are exceptions. Hans Christian Anderson did not always follow the unwritten injunction to have a happy ending. When I first read the story of the Little Match Girl, I was actually shocked. She died. There was no happily ever after. Have you seen a Disney movie about the little match girl? I do not think there will ever be one.  

So, we grow up expecting to live happily ever after and to be able to defy death like our heroes in the movies, but the reality of life is often very different from that. Death snakes its way into our lives whether we want it there or not. If you have an eating disorder, death of someone you love can be a crossroads or turning point. 

Emotional Detours

 Many people talk about how the journey of recovery from any difficult problem is characterized by a zig-zag pattern in which you take three steps forward, then two steps back, but remain on a rather linear course. I think most of us expect that in eating disorder recovery. Sometimes, however, there is something unexpected that happens over which we have no control,namely,  an emotional detour. The detour occurs when something blocks your path. It is not about forward or backward motion; it is often curved, off track, or unpredictable. 

Eating Disorder Band-Aids are not the same as Turning Points

      Medical Band-Aids are used to protect a person's wound from further injury and/or infection. Eating disorder band-aids are a little different. People in recovery often use them to protect family members or treatment providers from frustration or emotional pain.      

      When pressured by a parent, friend, spouse, therapist, nutritionist, or doctor to change behavior, you may feel like you have to prove that you are intent on recovery by doing something (whether you are ready or not). You may be tempted to put on a band-aid to please or relieve the anxiety of the other person, either sacrificing your own wants or desires for recovery or your own sense of timing for change. 

The Twilight Zone of Recovery

Some of the most challenging crossroads and turning points are found in the twilight zone of recovery. What in the world is "the twilight zone of recovery?", you may be asking while wondering, have I ever experienced this place?