What other coping skills have you added to your toolkit to replace your need for the eating disorder? Are you employing those skills, or have you retreated to what feels easiest and most convenient? How closely are you monitoring your thoughts? (-Quote from Beating Ana, Chapter: "Relapse Happens")
One of the first major steps I took in my own recovery process was to realize that the eating disorder definitely had served a purpose in my life to date.
"Ed" provided me with a place to retreat to when life felt overwhelming (which was basically all the time at that time in my life).
Ed also consumed all of my time and energy so I had an excuse to not go for my dreams or build the type of relationships I craved.
And Ed kept me feeling small and worthless so when I felt disappointed and hopeless, I had something (my battle with Ed) to blame it on.
It's not that all of those feelings and beliefs about myself magically dissolved the moment I achieved recovery over Ed, either. I just stopped using Ed as a wall to keep me and keep the world out.
In order to find the courage to leave Ed behind, I had to develop other coping skills to turn to when I felt stressed, overwhelmed, inadequate, or afraid. Each new skill I gained made Ed that much weaker. It took a lot of time and energy, but eventually my toolkit was so full that there was no room for Ed anymore!
Ed sure didn't like that. But I did. :-)
What is your answer to the question above? Are you adding new skills? Are you using them? If so, let us know how it is helping! If not, tell us what you are afraid of and take support from us to start fighting back against Ed with everything you've got!