Beating Ana by Shannon Cutts

It is not complicated. We know what to do.

It is tempting—oh, so tempting—to tell ourselves that we don’t know what to do. It is deceptively complex, we think. It is so confusing—all the reasons, the behaviors, the choices, the fears. It is not complicated. We know what to do. (-Quote from "Beating Ana", Chapter: Contact)

 

We know what to do.

YOU know what to do.

There is a confusing place inside our mind where Ed likes to hang out - the place where he can try to make the word "difficult" equal the word "impossible".

If we are not careful, we will listen and believe him.

Recovery is difficult. That is the part we don't know about - how difficult it will get. We are not sure we have it in us.

But we KNOW it is not impossible. How can we know this? Because we won't know that ANYTHING is impossible until we have actually TRIED IT.

Vanquishing Ed means embracing the tiniest details. IS "difficult" the same as "impossible"? Are you unwilling - or unable?

You know what to do. So what are you GOING to do?

You are Your Most Precious Gift

December's Good News for Eating Disorders Recovery is now published, and I thought you would enjoy reading this month's inspirational message here as well!

 

December Good News: You are Your Most Precious Gift

"Oh boy", you may be thinking, "Here she goes. The holidays are here and she is getting SAPPY."

Not so much.

Actually, like joy, happiness, and love, self-appreciation is a skill that is hard to develop and harder to hold onto.

We do tend to rather easily prize our accomplishments (just as easily as we criticize our failures).

We readily measure our worth in what we do, but as readily avoid any significant contemplation of the amazing being who is doing the "doing".

The Devil Wears Prada (but so does Ed)

Ultimately, being mentored can be one of the most profoundly loving, healing, empowering, and life-transforming relationships you will ever encounter. Similarly, serving as a mentor, when the time is right and you are ready, can be tremendously strengthen- ing and confirming for your own continued recovery. (-Quote from "Beating Ana", Part One: Welcome to Our World)

You notice I say "can be".....not that it automatically will be, or ever is.

I say this because the experience you have of being mentored depends entirely on who your mentor is.

As Nate, Andie's long-suffering boyfriend in "The Devil Wears Prada" movie, says to her when her evil boss, Miranda, calls to interrupt their evening yet again, "Just in case you're wondering, the person whose calls you always take is the relationship you are in. I hope you two are very happy together."

Whose calls do you always take? Who is your primary and most intense relationship with? To whose advice do you most frequently listen? Whom do you BEHAVE LIKE you most trust (this can be quite different from who you ACTUALLY DO trust)?

These are the questions to ask. Don't wait. The holidays- Ed's FAVORITE time of year - are upon us again.

So ask the important questions now. Seek out your mentor, and weigh every choice you make and every word you decide to listen to according to how much you want to be like the mentor you are choosing to follow. 

This holiday season, who will you choose to be your mentor?

xo

Shannon

I trust and lean on the stories of others who have emerged from times like these—victorious, joyful, and grateful

I trust and lean on the stories of others who have emerged from times like these—victorious, joyful, and grateful. I trust. I survive. I believe. I wait patiently and expectantly day-by-day for the wonderful and fulfilling life that is even now coming to occupy the welcoming empty spaces my eating disorder is leaving behind. (-Quote from "Beating Ana", Chapter: "The Curse of the Black Pearl")

When it gets difficult to believe that recovery is possible for you, what do you do?

Do you return to Ed, who will reliably give you confirmation - and his own patented brand of "comfort"?

Do you try to push the feelings away, ignoring your fears until they are so loud and insistent that you can think of nothing else?

The eating disorder has promised to always tell you the truth—even if it has never delivered on its promise.

In its own toxic, deadly way, the eating disorder has been the best of friends to you. It has been your shelter when you were too overwhelmed to function. It has been faithful—always waiting by your side to comfort you when others let you down. It has made sweet promises that, however illusory, have filled your weary heart with hope at just the right moments. It has promised to always tell you the truth—even if it has never delivered on its promise. (-Quote from "Beating Ana", Part Three: "Ed at the Movies")

If you had a friend who lied to you consistently - as in every time you talked to them - how long would that friendship last?

Would you soon begin to look for friendship and companionship elsewhere?

Or would you keep coming back, telling yourself that your friend can't help it and will surely change if you love and support them enough?