I have been having conversations with a colleague recently that I can only describe as a "grass is greener" mentality. She tells me that she envies me for my singular passion for my work. I tell her that I envy her for her multi-faceted life of variety.
From the outside listening in, the issue seems clear - we just need to swap lives. We are both convinced we would be happier "if only"....and yet our individual perceptions about how happy we would actually be standing in each others' shoes is slowly shifting.
For instance, I am not a morning person. So when she told me yesterday that her kids wake her up at 6am - if they wait that long - I couldn't help but feel grateful for my house-for-one.
Similarly, when I told her that my single-minded focus on my work has until now removed from my awareness my simple desire for relationships and maybe even a family of my own, she began to recount the joys of family life...more for her own benefit, it seemed, than mine.
The more we see beneath the surface of each others' lives, the less we can rely on our own assumptions of how wonderful life would be if only life was different. As one of my mentors used to say, it could always be so much better....but it could also always be so much worse! And we get to choose which it will be.
