"Exploring" "perfectionism". Does anyone else think these two words don't belong in the same sentence?
A perfectionist doesn't explore. Anything. Except maybe how to be perfect.
Mostly, a perfectionist just achieves. Excels. Or kills him (or her) self trying.
Tonight for this month's MentorCONNECT Teleconference Series we had a fascinating roundtable discussion (myself, Thom Rutledge, and other members of the MC Leadership Team) on what perfectionism is, what the difference (if any) is between perfectionism and OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder), how we know if we are a perfectionist, and, if so, what we can do about it.
My favorite part of our discussion was probably when we were discussing how to define failure. Perfectionists spend so much time trying to avoid failure, but we seldom take a look at what "failure" actually looks like.
I appreciated my discussion partners identifying the importance of translating big leaps into small manageable steps, because failure most often comes when we see the gaping chasm and, in our fear of never traversing it at all, attempt to leap completely across with no plan for how we are going to make it to the other side.
In other words, in our perfectionistic "giant leap" mentality, we set ourselves up for failure while telling ourselves we must succeed or....else.
I also appreciated one participant's emphasis on the importance of building accountability with others and ourselves through relationships. Perfectionism is very isolating, and we forget that we can take the help of others, and help others ourselves, to disentangle ourselves from our perfectionistic ways of looking at and interacting with the world.
Another participant expressed concern with how her perfectionistic approach to life was affecting younger folks around her who looked up to her, so we talked about living with honesty and humility and addressing the desire to achieve and excel in unrealistic ways with the young people in our lives so that they will know it is normal to struggle, even falter or fail, as a part of the human experience.
As for the rest, well, take a listen for yourself! And feel free to post your thoughts on what perfectionism means and is, and how to overcome it.
xo
Shannon
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